Pete’s Interview – Stages of Relationships – Triggers

Dr Dr. Peter Pearson

Thanks for your interest in my recent interview on NPR.

I hope you get some valuable insights for your relationship regarding:

  • The stages of a relationship or marriage
  • Lies we tell our partners
  • Triggers we have that cause challenges in our relationships

You won't want to miss my impromptu session with a stranger where I walked a listener through a long time trigger that he had interacting with his partner. In less than ten minutes, he was able to begin feeling differently and break a pattern he has had for years (Listener Question 2 at about 36 minutes in).

Podcast Highlights:

01:05 – Honeymoon Stage and Innocent Lies in the Beginning
05:40 – Avoiding the Truth
10:00 – Start to Work as a TEAM
10:45 – Partners on a Pedestal at the Beginning
11:30 – Tlel Me No Lies

11:45 – Second Stage – Power Struggles
15:50 – Marriage is the only Non-Hierarchical Relationship there is.
17:15 – F Words in the Marriage (they aren't what you think).
18:54 – When one person is disillusioned before the other.
21:55 – Couples have already created a roadmap for their marriage!
22:40 – The best thing you can do after your first fight after marriage.
26:40 – The acronym for couples as a T-E-A-M!
36:06 – Listener Question 2: Trigger for Partner in a 19 Year Marriage. (Don't Miss This)
38:55 – Learn how you can benefit from information/feedback from your past.
39:30 – Secret is to Learn Two Skills and…
41:26 – An Exercise to reduce your Trigger emotions with your partner.
51:28 – How to be open, transparent, and start the conversation.
52:35 – How to negotiate.

  1. Go here to read more about super negotiation I mentioned in the podcast.
  2. You might also be interested in our book Tell Me No Lies and Initiating Calm Discussions.

Discover the Last Relationship Training You'll Ever Need

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This was amazing


Thank you so very much.

The simple quick easy ONE minute to
Clam and Curious state exercise
( starting timestamp 47:50 I think approx )
,really helpful to for me

The steps in the exercise is
-Access mentally emotionally an old stressful trigger
– while breathing slowly and deeply
– while blinking my eyes slowly
– simply verbally speaking out
It’s ok now that the dangers passed

totally allowed me to
unglue and unfreeze and process that experience
And thus be able to let go and move forward.

Though shall propably have to do it for more than.a minute
for this particular one

Thank you for the explainations , that helped too

Thank You
Thank You

To.all.of you who made this possible and brought this about


Kindly pardon and overlook the typing, layout, syntax, spelling and grammatical errors.
Am physically quite challenged and in a lot of pain at the moment


You are quite welcome. I’m glad it was useful.


My lover left me for over 5years without no contact, i was so frustrated and confused i never knew what to do until i got in contact R.buckler11@ gmail. com, He told me just to be happy that i will have him back in my arms within 48hours, i was like is this real?, within 48hours i got a call from my man begging me for forgiveness, Which i did and he bought me a nice car, And now we are together and he love’s me more than anything on this earth and he can’t do without me. I am so happy and am bringing this great news to everyone going through heartbreak. …………………….

Peter Pearson, Ph.D.

Dr. Peter Pearson, Ph.D., Relationship & Teamwork Expert for Entrepreneur Couples Pete has been training and coaching couples to become a strong team since 1984 when he co-founded The Couples Institute with his psychologist wife, Dr. Ellyn Bader. Their popular book, “Tell Me No Lies,” is about being honest with compassion and growing stronger as a couple. Pete has been featured on over 50 radio and television programs including “The Today Show,” "Good Morning America,” and "CBS Early Morning News,” and quoted in major publications including “The New York Times,” “Oprah Magazine,” “Redbook,” “Cosmopolitan,” and “Business Insider.”

Discover the Last Relationship Training You'll Ever Need

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