how to create honesty and curiosity for a deeper, more rewarding marriage.

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Being totally honest with your partner isn’t always easy.

It takes trust and vulnerability from both partners.

Without those fundamental building blocks, it's hard to fully trust another person, especially in a romantic relationship.

In fact, lack of trust sets in motion a downward spiral and the little white lies take hold: people pleasing, hiding simple thoughts or ideas, then hiding more important ones.

Over time, a pattern develops and one or maybe both partners drift apart, building separate lives – even if they’re still together under one roof.

And then the inevitable happens – you land in a therapist's office trying to sort out what went wrong.

Every marriage goes through 4 stages...

The Honeymoon



Together as Two

Even little white lies in relationships can lead to serious trouble at each stage.

Lack of honesty between lovers has powerful potential to destroy a relationship. It is easy to underestimate the power that lies – even seemingly harmless lies – can wield in your marriage.
Tell Me No Lies explores the complexity of honesty versus deception in marriage and reveals the many reasons behind the lies we tell our partners (and ourselves).

Warning signs that a couple hasn’t mastered
honesty and vulnerability...

The Dark Side
of the Honeymoon

(when couples avoid facing their differences)

The Stalemate

(when couples fight and brutalize each other with exaggerated truths)

Freedom Unhinged

(when independence outweighs togetherness and marital anarchy ensues)
Offering a new way of thinking about truth and deception, this book will help you understand the dynamics of your marriage in the context of the marital stages. If you can identify your marital stage, you can overcome the barriers to honesty and move on to a happier and more fulfilling marriage!

Read before and during any relationship that you want to last.

Great book that goes into the phases of relationships. If partners are willing to work with each phase, the relationship can deepen. The honeymoon phase will not last forever, and Dr. Ellyn Bader guides couples through what is occurring (or what to expect) and how to address it. We easily fall into ‘little lies' to maintain harmony or avoid tough discussions. The reality is that such behavior creates distance and can lead to more difficulties, in my experience. She clearly spells this out. And offers acceptance of differences as…

– BeInNature

Amazon Review

Get ready for your mind to be blown and get ready to cry, laugh, smile and reflect.

Excellent. The part about the lie invitee was a little challenging because naturally we are all going to be upset about something from time to time. I do see the point that someone will be more inclined to lie if they think the truth will bring hell on earth haha but there are going to be things we disagree on or make us uncomfortable. This book is great though, I love the delivery of this information. I laughed out loud a few times and realized holy crap…
– Mich

Amazon Review

Great book. I read it for my couple's therapy ...

Has some excellent/interesting points to help generate an alternate perspective for those that lie without thinking that they really do.
– Nlopez

Amazon Review

Helped us plenty.

My husband read this and couldn't put it down. It certainly enlightened him. It helped him understand himself and gave him courage to change. I would recommend this book in a heartbeat.
– Itsdarock

Amazon Review

Spectacular reconceptualization of lying in relationships. Every mental health rofessional who treats couples needs this book.

Dr. Dr. Ellyn Bader provides a wonderful and insightful look at the different ways that lies affect all relationships, with a particular focus on couples. Many different types of lies and reasons for lying allow the reader to conceptualize that there are usually two sides to this behavior and reasons behind each lie that is told. A brilliant book!

– Lauren

Amazon Review

Learn How To Overcome the Barriers to Honesty for a Deeply Rewarding Marriage.