Differentiation

Losing Control: It Happens Sooner Than You Think

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Losing control of a given couples therapy session happens sooner and faster than you think. How soon? Often it is in the first few minutes of a

Holding Developmental Tension

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Leading the way when couples are lost in their own issues How often do you encounter couples who are so deeply entangled with each other that they

Trauma, Part 3: Bringing it Together

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Over the past two months, we’ve examined some key principles behind trauma-informed care for couples. Now it’s time to take a closer look at what these concepts

Couples and Trauma, Part 1: Understanding the Challenges

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It’s been said that the past is never really dead. All our prior experiences have the power to shape our thoughts and perceptions – which in turn

Working with Couples Where One Partner Has A Severe Anxiety Disorder

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When you apply the Developmental Model in your work with couples, sometimes you will encounter issues that add an extra layer of complexity. Examples of this include

Getting Started with an Enmeshed Couple Moving to Early Differentiation

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Couples who marry young often establish enmeshed relationships that inhibit individual growth. They have not had the opportunity to mature and do much differentiation work prior to

A Powerful Exercise to Promote the Work of Differentiation in Couples

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The differentiation stage is, by far, the most difficult for many couples. Helping each partner set self-focused autonomous goals is crucial to their growth as individuals and

A Closer Look at Early Differentiation

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What is real developmental progress? How do we recognize and support it? Many couples in therapy are starting to move from the symbiotic stage into early differentiation.

A Developmental Model for Healthy Couples

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Throughout my experience as a couples therapist, I’ve observed that couples relationships typically progress through 5 normal and predictable stages. In healthy relationships, a couple’s development closely