Finding Answers by Asking Questions
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It’s kind of a paradox that most people come to us as therapists and coaches for answers, but our real job is to ask questions. I’ve just
Therapists’ Blog
Welcome to our Therapists’ Blog, where we post insights and innovative techniques for couples therapists. Just scan and click to read the articles below, choose by category on the bottom right, or use the search box above. You can also sign up to receive these by email by providing your name and email address in the box at the bottom of the page.
Daily and Doable Self-Care
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My therapy session with Cora has its usual, harried beginning. She arrived ten minutes late, rushing into my office with her typical apologies; this week it was
Tools and Questions to Facilitate Change in the Middle Stage of Couples Therapy
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For this month’s blog, let’s look at tools and questions you can use to facilitate change in the middle stages of couples work. There is a tendency
Are Your Clients’ Expectations For The Holidays Too High?
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Ah, Sisyphus, the legendary rock roller from Greek mythology. He was forever doomed to push the boulder up the mountain only to have it roll back. Again
Making Strong Confrontations in the Aftermath of Infidelity
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When a couple comes to see you in the aftermath of infidelity, there are always tough decisions for each partner and also for you, their therapist. In
The Questions You Need To Ask Yourself When Working With Long-Term Hostile Dependent Couples
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A couple that’s been together for fifty-plus years with a history of alcoholism, violence, and codependency walks into your office… No, this isn’t the beginning of a
How The Initiator-Inquirer Process Helps Partners Develop Themselves
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In a recent training session, an experienced therapist presented a case about working with a heterosexual married couple who were deeply enmeshed with one another. Both partners
Highlights from Couples Conference 2022
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In spite of the challenges of putting on another covid era conference, we had a stellar faculty of 10 discussing a wide variety of dynamic topics. Speakers
Passive-Aggressive Partners, Part 2: Guiding the Discussions
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It can be so infuriating to have a couple come to you for help, and then they refuse essentially all the help you try to provide! I’ve
Passive-Aggressive Spouses and the Struggle for Progress, Part 1
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Many couples hope that we therapists can magically solve their problems by fixing what’s wrong with the other partner. And nowhere is this faulty thinking more active
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