
Goal SettingA Powerful Exercise to Promote the Work of Differentiation in Couples![]() A Dialogue for Individual Goal-Setting with Conflict-Avoidant Couples![]() 10 Skills for Early Sessions
Each year I mentor a small group of therapists to help them set goals for their business and clinical skills. I often ask them to assess themselves by being brutally honest about their ability on a variety of criteria that I believe make for strength and effectiveness as a couples therapist. I am including some of these here so you too can assess yourself.
Couples Therapist Self-Assessment
First, read the following statements and respond with a simple yes or no. Later, come back and use a 1-7 on a continuum from very strong to very weak.
Early Sessions with Couples:
__ I have a plan when I talk to potential clients on the telephone.… Read more...
How to Help Couples Work Towards Positive Dreams Through Visualization![]() How to Stop Going in Circles with an Entrenched Couple![]() Three Types of Goals and Their Use in Couples Therapy
This month we describe a way of classifying goals into three succinct categories and we show how to use them in couples therapy sessions.
Goals can be classified into three types: “doing,” “having/getting” and “being.” Consider each type:
1. DOING. These are action-oriented goals. They require some active behavior. Examples of these include participating in sports, activities, or hobbies. Other “doing” goals include giving a feared speech, hugging one's partner, or traveling to some desired vacation spot.
2. HAVING/GETTING. People talk frequently about what they would like to have.… Read more...
Beyond Plateaus
Quick Questions to Help Increase Momentum When Couples Therapy is Bogged Down
Therapists often tell us that they're quite skilled at getting started with a couple, but they eventually arrive at a point where it seems like the couple is making little or no progress. They'd like to develop some momentum in couples therapy.
This month let's look at some questions to ask yourself in the middle stages of couples therapy. This can be helpful even if you and the couple aren't stuck at a plateau, just to keep your work together focused and effective.
When progress has slowed, ask yourself:
1. Has sufficient progress been made for now?… Read more...
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