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Have you ever felt yourself totally stymied by an angry fighting couple?
That happens to just about every therapist, because change isn’t simple. Propelling reliable change takes working with a very specific set of principles and a very targeted set of skills.
And, you need to be a strong leader, who sets firm boundaries, and addresses underlying deficits without letting either partner bully you into discussing the fight of the week.
That’s a tall order! Who would want to work with the type of couple that challenges you so much and so often?
Don’t be afraid to acknowledge that these types of couples stretch you.… Read more...
Diagnosis7 Traits of the Hostile Angry Couple
Have you ever felt yourself totally stymied by an angry fighting couple?
That happens to just about every therapist, because change isn’t simple. Propelling reliable change takes working with a very specific set of principles and a very targeted set of skills.
And, you need to be a strong leader, who sets firm boundaries, and addresses underlying deficits without letting either partner bully you into discussing the fight of the week.
That’s a tall order! Who would want to work with the type of couple that challenges you so much and so often?
Don’t be afraid to acknowledge that these types of couples stretch you.… Read more... The Self-Absorbed Partner A very big thanks to you if you filled out my survey on the Self-Absorbed Partner. I must have hit a nerve because nearly 200 readers answered the questions.… Read more... Couples Therapy Tools: The Paper Exercise
When I am doing training, I get many requests to learn more about the Paper Exercise. I thought you might like having more information about it.
The Paper Exercise is an exercise that Pete and I adapted from Susan Campbell’s book, The Couples Journey. The exercise sounds a bit contrived, but it is so revealing of couples’ dynamics that it is worthwhile learning to use it. It can be used either diagnostically or as an intervention into the couples’ system.
Setting up the exercise
You will need a piece of plain white 8 ½ x 11 paper. Hold it in your hand, look into the eyes of one partner, and say, “This piece of paper represents something important to you.… Read more...
Beyond Plateaus
Quick Questions to Help Increase Momentum When Couples Therapy is Bogged Down
Therapists often tell us that they're quite skilled at getting started with a couple, but they eventually arrive at a point where it seems like the couple is making little or no progress. They'd like to develop some momentum in couples therapy.
This month let's look at some questions to ask yourself in the middle stages of couples therapy. This can be helpful even if you and the couple aren't stuck at a plateau, just to keep your work together focused and effective.
When progress has slowed, ask yourself:
1. Has sufficient progress been made for now?… Read more...
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