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Many therapists dread working with couples where one partner is extremely passive or passive-aggressive. Passive-aggressive partners create a lot of confusion. Commitments are regularly broken, and criticism and passivity dominate the couple’s interactions. Their spouse is usually enormously frustrated and angry. Any attempts by the couple to change the pattern fail, and increasingly the interpersonal dynamics between these partners zap the life right out of the relationship – until the life force is gone.
In fact, once a couple has interacted like this for years, they aren’t very likely to unravel the pattern themselves.… Read more... Passive Aggressive PartnersLosing Momentum: With Passive-Aggressive Partners and their SpousesMany therapists dread working with couples where one partner is extremely passive or passive-aggressive. Passive-aggressive partners create a lot of confusion. Commitments are regularly broken, and criticism and passivity dominate the couple’s interactions. Their spouse is usually enormously frustrated and angry. Any attempts by the couple to change the pattern fail, and increasingly the interpersonal dynamics between these partners zap the life right out of the relationship – until the life force is gone.
In fact, once a couple has interacted like this for years, they aren’t very likely to unravel the pattern themselves.… Read more... The Passive-Aggressive Male
This article was written for the public and appeared in Esquire magazine in April, 1989. It is helpful for professionals to use with passive-aggressive partners to identify their ineffective passive aggressive behaviors.
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Gentleman: Ever wonder why you're driving people crazy?
These are some of the things that the passive aggressive male says:
– “Nothing. I'm just thinking.”
– “No, why do you ask?”
– “Angry?”
– “I don't hate it.”
– “I won't stop you.”
– “What's the problem?”
These are some of the things that a passive-aggressive man does:
– Has a new lock put on the front door and forgets to give his wife the key.… Read more...
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