Passive Aggression

How to Get the Most From Your Couples Therapy

Couples are often uncertain what to expect from the process of couples therapy. They are not sure of what to expect of the therapist or even if the therapist has any expectations of them.
 
I have found most couples approach therapy with the notion that each person will describe their distress and somehow the therapist will assist them to create a happier, more functional, relationship. They expect to learn some new or better skills. However, most people hope their partner will do most of the learning in problem areas.
After 30 years of clinical experience and specializing in working with thousands of couples, I have arrived at some guidelines that can make our work more effective.… Read more…

Export Data Test

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Overcoming Passivity and Passive-Aggressive Behavior

…in the Early Stages of Therapy Couples therapy has numerous challenges in the early sessions depending on the type of presenting problem. Our next few newsletters will focus on some unique challenges and what to do about them, beginning with passive behavior and passive-aggressive behavior. A common pattern of highly distressed relationships is each partner wants the other to change first. The complaining partner wants massive personality changes. The “request” is more or less stated as a demand or accusation, with no awareness of how much is being requested. When this happens, the pressure is on either you or the partner to do something to relieve the distress of the complainer.… Read more...

Help! My Partner Must Be Passive Aggressive!

 In our last newsletter I mentioned why a passive aggressive person is so hard to live with and the major cause of this frustrating behavior: they break agreements without warning and have quicker excuses than a four year old caught with a hand in the cookie jar. The passive aggressive person will break agreements and then lament they can't live up to the exacting standards of their partner. The passive aggressive person will often try to make others' unreasonable standards, rather than their unreliability, the focus of the problem. The spouse is caught in a bind. If they keep bringing up broken agreements, they are constantly nagging.… Read more...

Does Your Partner Drive You Nuts? The Passive Aggressive Personality

Asking your mate to empty the dishwasher should theoretically be totally devoid of drama or tension. It's just one of many chores necessary to keep your home functioning–right?However, with a passive aggressive personality, any situation has the potential to go from the trivial to emotional combat. It started with the simple question from my wife, Ellyn, “Pete did you empty the dishwasher?” I didn't respond but begrudgingly left the History Channel and headed for the kitchen, knowing I had agreed to do it before now.   Click here for a FREE report on Passive-Aggressive Behavior!… Read more...

The Passive-Aggressive Male

Gentleman: Ever wonder why you're driving people crazy? These are some of the things that the passive aggressive male says: – “Nothing. I'm just thinking.” – “No, why do you ask?” – “Angry?” – “I don't hate it.” – “I won't stop you.” – “What's the problem?” These are some of the things that a passive-aggressive man does: – Has a new lock put on the front door and forgets to give his wife the key. – Calls an early staff meeting and shows up forty minutes late – Talks on the phone for an hour when he knows that his girlfriend is trying to call.… Read more...
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