Losing Control: When Couples Fight
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It is very common for angry partners to come in saying they had a great big fight during the week and they want to talk about it.
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Losing Control: It Happens Sooner Than You Think
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Losing control of a given couples therapy session happens sooner and faster than you think. How soon? Often it is in the first few minutes of a
Losing Control: When Couples Sessions Spin Out of Control
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Please think about a time when you lost control of a session. Were you too caught up in your own discomfort, anxiety, or discouragement to contemplate specifically
Working with Early Trauma in the Initiator-Inquirer
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When you are doing Initiator-Inquirer sessions, be sure to watch how partners function in their assigned roles. The combination of the role and each partner’s functioning will
Helplessness Underlies Many Control Struggles
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I am pleased that many readers took the time to think about the last transcript I posted. I enjoyed reading your perspectives and seeing your comments about
Managing Control Issues in Couples Therapy
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For this blog post, I am giving you part of a transcript from an Initiator-Inquirer session. It is about working with control struggles, improving couple’s communication, and
What do these 5 relationship challenges have in common?
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Too many couples’ problems are deeply rooted in a complex web of beliefs, hopes, disillusionments, and expectations. “You owe me this.” “I won’t change until he does.”
Reflections from Kenya: A Journey of Healing and Connection
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I am excited to share with you reflections on our trip to Kenya. It was an unbelievable trip, and I am deeply grateful to the therapists and
What do you say when a client has been lying about an affair?
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Finding out that a client has been lying to you and their spouse about ongoing infidelity is very tricky. Suddenly what was already a difficult infidelity repair case gets a whole lot tougher.
What Do You Say When Couples Want to Rehash a Fight?
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Let’s look at what happens when a couple starts a session by dumping the fight of the week on you. Here is one example of what you
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