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Reflections from Kenya: A Journey of Healing and Connection
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I am excited to share with you reflections on our trip to Kenya. It was an unbelievable trip, and I am deeply grateful to the
Every time a couple tackles a thorny problem requiring change, they go through a predictable sequence of steps to make that change. And the sequence of change process is not linear. Leadership means seeing the journey from denial to commitment and actively challenging either partner when they regress. Watch the video to see Pete and Ellyn go through the stages of change as they conquer the problem of clutter in their home.
Please share your comments or reactions.
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Hi Ellyn, nice demo. I see what looks like a map of the heart in the background. Could you post a snippet of it, with the publisher’s information?
Thanks in advance!
Fabrice Nye
Lovely modelling with reinforcement of steps
Thanks.
Nice video — this is basically a description of the Transtheoretical Model of Change embedded in the context of a couple’s interactions which is a great application of the theory.
Fabrice-The map you see was created by Pete and me. I am sorry I can’t post it because we did it a long time ago and there is no digital version.
This was a wonderful video to see what change looks like in the context of a relationship. As a new studnt in your training program, I hope we will be expanding on what to do when couples get stuck in the first two stages.
Thank you
Thank you this was fun to watch and demonstrated the steps clearly. When one of the partners is caught in resistance, and admits to a behavior of theirs that could change and says, “…yes, but, you do this…why do I have to change? It’s as if one os saying I’ll change if you change. Where do you go then?
Delightful video and oh so true to the reality of couples and change. The hardest lesson for couples I counsel is “giving praise” and having the stamina to return for multiple passes at a problem…and when successful, the partner who asked for change usually has a number of other changes in mind as well. Could this be the source of some of the resistance?
Thanks so much Ellyn & Pete! This is a wonderful resource for my couples. I really appreciate your generous sharing 🙂
Found this really interesting and a great way to share ideas in a simple format that helps people relate what you say to their own issues.
Pete & Ellen:
Thanks for your transparency.
I will use with my clients.
HI Ellyn and Pete
..really enjoyed this video! so great and relieving to see the nitty gritty struggle of it all and phases validated!!
thanks so much for all your ongoing work and commitment to this area …learning heaps along the journey with you all.
best wishes
Andrew
Ellyn and Pete would love to see this video help lots of struggling couples. Feel free to pass it on and share it.
Wow! I’m so excited about this video for multiple reasons, This was a huge issue in my own marriage for years. I plan to show this to my husband for a laugh together. I was Pete and my h. was Ellyn, and we fought about this for years until I did a version of what I now now is called the Inquirer, from the Bader/Pearson Developmental model. I asked my husband about the meaning of cleanliness for him, and he told me about how much peace it brought to him. I, in turn, was able to talk about the freedom and creativity I felt within the space of messiness while I’m doing something. Our motivation and behavior changed after that, and I am amazingly clean now and he is very tolerant of the messes I do make at times. I share this with my own client couples at times, to demonstrate the power of understanding the other. Thanks for the humor and transparency in the video you shared, Pete and Ellyn. Ann