Reflections from Kenya: A Journey of Healing and Connection

I am excited to share with you reflections on our trip to Kenya. It was an unbelievable trip, and I am deeply grateful to the therapists and coaches in our community who took the leap to come along with us.

We had two main goals:

  1. Provide support for our three counselors – Joanne, Milkah, and Connie – who have been working with enormous dedication in refugee schools. These incredible women help children whose parents are battling alcoholism, are traumatized, or are working hard but unable to pay school fees.
  2. Deliver the Safe Conversations program to an elementary and high school in the San Marcos community.

I wish there was an easy way to bring all of you reading this blog into the emotionality of this trip. I’ve decided to share a few different types of media to bring you in. On this page, you’ll find the beginning and end of a poem I wrote and shared on Day 1. Alongside this, I’ve included the voices of those who were there with me, to give you a fuller picture of our experience.

Part of our group the morning we left for Shalom and San Marcos communities
Part of our group the morning we left for Shalom and San Marcos communities

A Poem for Our Journey

It’s Nairobi – July 20th and we’re so happy you’re all gathered here
With warm, caring hearts, positive energy and unique counseling cheer
You've traveled from afar, with hearts full of care
To nurture and guide, to be present and share.

We are about to embark on an adventure that has other trips beat
Your wisdom and kindness will touch the kids that you meet
In refugee schools, you'll be lending a hand.
Giving to others through activities we’ve planned

And now the children await you with eyes full of dreams,
In the warmth of your presence, hope brightly gleams.
You’ll inspire, uplift, and share appreciations each day
The results of your gifts will last long after you’ve gone away.

Ellyn, Pete, Sue Diamond, Nancy St. John and Amy Crowe with Nairobi counselors Joanne Tuwei and Connie Kamonya in Joanne’s counseling office at San Marcos school

A Journey of Heart and Soul

Our days in Kenya were filled with profound moments. From the smiles of the children to the heartfelt gratitude they expressed, it was clear that the impact of our work was deeply felt. Despite the trauma, loss, and neglect they’ve endured, the children carry a light within them that shines brightly.

Lori Weisman, a therapist in our group, captured the essence of our experience beautifully: “To go to the schools and be with all the kids was mind-blowing. They showed up with big smiles on their faces, songs in their hearts, and an openness to receive anything and everything we had to give.”

Stepping Into the Unknown

For many of us, this trip was more than just a journey to another country; it was a personal challenge to live the values we teach our clients. It was about embracing vulnerability and being fully present in the experience.

Australian therapist Judith Howse was another member of our group. She shared a powerful reflection on stepping into the unknown: “I decided to go on the trip to Kenya because in my practice with my clients, I am inviting them to be curious and to risk stepping into the unknown. I realized that this trip would be an opportunity for me to ‘walk the walk,’ not just ‘talk the talk.’”

Empowering the Next Generation

Ann Kihara, is a therapist from Monterey, CA and was a member of our group. She highlighted the immense potential we encountered:

“I asked the girls what they wanted to do with their futures. What were their aspirations? This is what I heard in response:

‘I want to be a lawyer.’

‘I want to be a neuro-surgeon.’

‘I want to be a pilot.’

‘I want to be a counselor.’

Wow!!! With such strong, resilient, intelligent, open-minded, adventurous young women (and men) in Kenya, our world is going to change more than we can imagine. Go ‘Gen-Z!’

What a gift to be a witness to the beginning transformation of a generation, of a people, of a culture.”

Our work in Kenya wasn’t just about providing immediate support  – it was about planting seeds for the future. These young people have incredible aspirations, and with the help of organizations like Village Impact, they have the opportunity to turn those dreams into reality.

Ellyn with high school students facilitating Safe Conversations
Ellyn with high school students facilitating Safe Conversations

A Journey of Healing

It didn't surprise me that for many of us, the trip to Kenya was as much about our healing as it was about helping others. The connections we formed and the experiences we shared have left a lasting imprint on all of us.

San Francisco Bay Area therapist Yi Martins, reflected on the emotional impact of the trip: “The impact of the trip is still sinking in and becoming more apparent. When I think about it, words like Healing, Transformation, and Integration come to mind. My heart continues to heal from this journey, as being seen and supported by a group of experienced therapists provided a safe space for me.”

a poster from one of the counselor's offices
a poster from one of the counselor's offices

We All Hope They Never Stop Dancing

During our visit to the San Marcos school community, reflections from my close friend  Sharon Lack truly encapsulated the emotional depth of our experience. Unlike her previous trip to Kenya a decade ago as a donor, this visit felt different. Sharon arrived with “arms wide open” and a deep sense of cultural humility. She described how the students, like “barnacles,” immediately sought connection, eager to be hugged and seen.

Sharon continued, “Listening to the students who shared their stories of broken homes reset my perspective of what is essential. Remarkably, their trust was immediate and palpable; they wanted someone to pay attention to them, to feel seen, and so we did. On the outside, these students/children present themselves with joy, perhaps school is their refuge, their happy place. However, on the inside, their truths are dark and unfathomable. These beautiful souls move like no other through nonstop dance. Every part of their body separates rhythmically with ease, and we tried to dance like them. At this moment, it makes me sad that we left after a meaningful 72 hours. We couldn’t get enough, nor could the students. Movement can be so healing. We all hope they never stop dancing.”

Never Stop Dancing

What stands out most to Pete and me is the joy and gratitude of children who have so LITTLE and the hearts of the team who came with us. Unknowing what they were getting into, they dove in and committed to giving of  themselves and embracing all the Kenyan children.

Pete and I send enormous thanks to everyone who joined us on this journey: Kristen Armstrong, Amy Bassel Crowe, Anne Evans-Cazier, Sue Diamond, Sasha Georgeson, Judith Howse, Ann Kihara, Sharon Lack, Yi Zhao Martins, Jessica Myers-Adams, Nancy and David St John, Jean Okie, Lori Weisman, Nedra Everett.

Reflections from Kenya: A Journey of Healing and Connection

About Village Impact

Village Impact is an organization committed to transforming lives through education. They work closely with local communities and partners in Kenya to build schools and provide essential resources, including textbooks, science labs, clean water, and teacher accommodations. Village Impact doesn’t just stop at building schools – they invest in the professional development of teachers and principals to ensure that students receive a quality education that empowers them to unlock their full potential. In recent years we’ve taken it a step further by establishing counseling centers for these communities so ravaged by trauma. As you can imagine, this work is very dear to my heart.

Through their dedicated efforts, Village Impact has made significant strides in addressing the educational challenges faced by vulnerable communities, particularly in areas where school infrastructure is lacking or in disrepair. Their holistic approach ensures that each school is not only built but also sustained with the necessary tools and support to thrive.

I am honored to serve on their board and I invite you to visit their website if you are interested in more information: www.villageimpact.com.

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Milkah
Milkah

I’m delighted with how precisely you’ve captured everything. Thank you for showcasing our students’ experiences and for your ongoing support in helping us reach a wider audience. It’s a privilege to share their journey with the world. Your efforts are deeply appreciated, Ellyn.”

Cate Heffernan
Cate Heffernan

I am so touched by your generosity toward this third-world country and the underprivileged. Thank you for sharing your heartwarming journey with us. This is teamwork at its best.

Ann Ladd
Ann Ladd

Reading this description of your incredible, generous, loving trip was so moving for me. I can’t imagine how much more impact it would be to have been a part of this experience. Thank you for sharing and for all of your work in the world to open hearts and minds and strengthen loving relationships.

Marylou Donnelly
Marylou Donnelly

I am always deeply moved by your travels there,Ellyn. Thanks for you wonderful sharing!

Joe Winn
Joe Winn

Ellyn, Pete, Susan, Nancy – wow!!! The folks the counselors you are working with, and the work they are doing is so important! Loved the dedication, commitment, hope and love that everyone has to get the kids what they need in the way of education and opportunity! I love seeing human beings stepping into the best of what we can be!

Barnabas
Barnabas

Thanks Ellyn for stepping out and walking the walk. The support you and your team of Counselors gave us was amazing. This trip was life changing for many of us in different ways.

Rosalyn Liebhober
Rosalyn Liebhober

A very interesting and heartwarming experience. A great organization, Village impact.

Yolerma
Yolerma

Ellyn and Pete, I admire you. Leaving your comfort zone in order to serve and love those children is so inspiring. I would love to go with you.

consuellah kamonya
consuellah kamonya

I wanted to express my sincere gratitude for your mentorship and support this trip left a foot print in our students life that they will forever remember I’m truly grateful for your time and dedication. Looking foward to more trips in the future

Joan Tuwei
Joan Tuwei

Much respect and gratitude for the great impact you had on our students and us. Our hearts and minds will be forever grateful for they were nourished with love, acceptance, and understanding!

Dr. Ellyn Bader

Dr. Ellyn Bader is Co-Founder & Director of The Couples Institute and creator of The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy. Ellyn is widely recognized as an expert in couples therapy, and since 2006 she has led innovative online training programs for therapists. Professionals from around the world connect with her through internet, conference calls and blog discussions to study couples therapy. Ellyn’s first book, "In Quest of the Mythical Mate," won the Clark Vincent Award by the California Association of Marriage & Family Therapists for its outstanding contribution to the field of marital therapy and is now in its 18th printing. She has been featured on over 50 radio and television programs including "The Today Show" and "CBS Early Morning News," and she has been quoted in many publications including "The New York Times," "The Oprah Magazine" and "Cosmopolitan."

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