Collaborating with Counselors in Kenya

Collaborating with Counselors in Kenya

Note from the Couples Institute team: Ellyn wrote this blog post before leaving for Kenya but we couldn’t post it until today. So she’s there already – and we can’t wait to hear more about the trip when she returns! 

I’m counting down the days and minutes! On Monday, Pete and I will travel to Kenya for Village Impact and with 20 therapists/coaches joining us. For the past 6 years, we have been working to build a counseling program in refugee schools in the area surrounding Nakuru.

These schools are in traumatized communities. Our counselors there face so many challenges: drugs, sexual abuse, early pregnancy, dropouts and bullying. The counselors have been helping children stay in school and dream of a brighter future despite having alcoholic or very neglectful parents.

This photo shows a community meeting where parents, counselors, and teachers are addressing problems of sexual abuse.

We’ve been coordinating with a program called Safe Conversations developed by Harville Hendrix and Helen Hunt-Hendrix and used extensively in schools in Liberia. Our group will help teach Safe Conversations, a tool that helps prevent bullying in schools and make possible productive conflict resolution and the sharing of positive appreciations and affirmations.

I wanted to share a short poem with you about our Kenya adventure. This work satisfies my soul in so many deep ways. I can hardly find words to describe it, but the poem allows me to try. And I look forward to sharing lots about the project and the trip when I return.

It’s time for us to journey back, our hearts in warm embrace,
To Kenya to support refugee kids who were displaced.

Due to Covid, many years have passed since we last were there,
Returning now with other colleagues who care
Teaching the kids kindness they will share.

Barnabus, Grace and Charlotte will guide the way,
Training kids as Mentors in what to say.

We’ll support learning Safe Conversations, words of gold,
Positive strokes, emotions shared, and bullying controlled.

Breakouts will follow, practice to instill,
Skills to master, building patience and goodwill.

Our days will be filled with laughter and lessons deep,
With empathy, understanding and time to weep.

Facilitators ready, guiding every hand,
Open to learning from what we have planned.

Our mentor kids will return to schools, their knowledge new
Supporting others with special skills, strong and true.

In Kenya’s embrace, kids dreams can take flight,
We’ll plant the seeds of love, and shed new light.

With every conversation, every touch,
These kids will weave a tapestry that means so much.

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Dr. Ellyn Bader

Dr. Ellyn Bader is Co-Founder & Director of The Couples Institute and creator of The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy. Ellyn is widely recognized as an expert in couples therapy, and since 2006 she has led innovative online training programs for therapists. Professionals from around the world connect with her through internet, conference calls and blog discussions to study couples therapy. Ellyn’s first book, "In Quest of the Mythical Mate," won the Clark Vincent Award by the California Association of Marriage & Family Therapists for its outstanding contribution to the field of marital therapy and is now in its 18th printing. She has been featured on over 50 radio and television programs including "The Today Show" and "CBS Early Morning News," and she has been quoted in many publications including "The New York Times," "The Oprah Magazine" and "Cosmopolitan."

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