Developmental Model

Update on Couples Conference 2015

self-absorbed_man_225This year’s Couples Conference has come and gone. Happily, it turned out to be another dynamic meeting filled with therapists from many countries as well as those from the United States. This year I conducted a workshop on self-absorbed partners with Sue Diamond-Potts. Sue is my assistant in the online training program and she also specializes in addiction work. We explored the problems created in marriage or committed partnerships by self-absorbed partners.… Read more...

A Look Back at the Developmental Model

In Quest of the Mythical MateI’m feeling sad. After 26 years and 17 printings, our book “In Quest of the Mythical Mate” will no longer be available in hard cover. I’ll miss her. She really is like an old dear friend, symbolic as the first big collaborative project Pete and I did together.… Read more...

Hypocrisy, Immorality, Shame and Change

cofronting hypocrisy“It's discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.” ― Noël Coward, Blithe Spirit Today I’d like to share a fascinating piece on hypocrisy from the University of Colorado’s Conflict Research Consortium.… Read more...

A Developmental Model of Couples Relationships for Couples Therapists

  Edna, 28, and Steve, 30, had been living together for two years when they requested couples therapy. In appearance Edna was dressed immaculately, while Steve looked disheveled. Their fights, not surprisingly, focused on his slovenly appearance and sloppy household habits, and on her fastidious behavior and frivolous patterns of spending money. Theirs had been an intense, dramatic relationship. In the beginning they had met and fallen in love on a blind date. Now, two years later, they described a highly conflictual relationship with serious communication problems. An initial session began as follows: Edna: Again, you left two days' worth of cruddy dishes all over the living room floor for me to trip over!… Read more...