Peter Pearson

Let's face it: love is messy. With its magnified highs and lows, love is unpredictable and never what we expect – so much so that we might be tempted to cower in fear. But if we approach love with the courage of a warrior, we can have relationships of heroic proportions. Here are 10 ways:

1. BE YOURSELF. If we want to be loved for who we truly are, why put on an act?

2. DON'T BELIEVE YOUR STORIES. Our interpretation of events and feelings is, in fact, just one possibility for what is actually true. Focus on what IS to get closer to the truth.

3. STAY OPEN. Fear shuts us down. But when we are vulnerable, true connection to others is possible.

4. SPEAK UP. We become silent when we desperately want to connect.

5. STOP LOOKING FOR PERFECTION. More than likely, what we call “high standards” is a mask for our own feelings of inadequacy.

6. EMBRACE THE MESSINESS. It gives us the gift of growth.

7. GET MAD. Learn the difference, though, between expressing anger responsibly and dumping it.

8. LOVE WITH NO THOUGHT OF WHAT YOU'LL GET IN RETURN. This is fearless love in action.

9. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY. Be accountable for your own emotions, thoughts and actions.

10. LOVE YOURSELF. Only then can you love others and be loved.

If these pointers sound like too much to take on, choose one and use it for a New Year's resolution. Keep your focus on it until it becomes an automatic reaction. Practice one a month, and your
year will be full of growth.

Although these are simple to read, they are not simple to put into practice. One way to help put these into practice is to learn strategies to mange your emotional brain, which is at odds with these powerful relationship enhancers.

I wish you warmth and togetherness during the holidays, and a new year full of promise.

About 

Peter Pearson, Ph.D., Relationship & Teamwork Expert for Entrepreneur Couples

Pete has been training and coaching couples to become a strong team since 1984 when he co-founded The Couples Institute with his psychologist wife, Ellyn Bader.

Their popular book, “Tell Me No Lies,” is about being honest with compassion and growing stronger as a couple.

Pete has been featured on over 50 radio and television programs including “The Today Show,” "Good Morning America,” and "CBS Early Morning News,” and quoted in major publications including “The New York Times,” “Oprah Magazine,” “Redbook,” “Cosmopolitan,” and “Business Insider.”


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