Peter Pearson

hull of ship covered with debrisThe British Navy dominated the oceans for hundreds of years. What was their secret?

They cleaned and did maintenance on the hulls of their ships. Their enemies took little care of theirs.

The British sailors removed barnacles, seaweed and saltwater clams. Keeping the bottom of the boat smooth gave them a critical advantage – a ship that traveled quickly to battle stations.

An unclean hull would drag tons of shells and hundreds of yards of seaweed. This debris could cut a ship’s speed in half – a severe disadvantage in battle.

Salt water clams were a particular scourge to wooden ships. Clams dug into the hulls and turned them into honeycombs. A ship riddled with these became a floating coffin over time. The ship would constantly leak and could break apart even in small storms.

It took a lot of work to clean a hull.

But the navy did it and stayed strong.

You see where this is going. Don’t you?

Regular maintenance of your marriage is worth the effort.

What does this mean for you? Learn effective communication and negotiation skills. Don’t let resentments build up. They drag your marriage down.

Fifty percent of all marriages ignore the maintenance, and their marital ships go to the bottom of the sea. Don't let debris sink your ship.

I recommend an exercise called the Daily Double. Twice a day do or say something that will make your partner feel loved, valued and appreciated. It takes effort but will keep your marital ship afloat.

Go here to read more about the Daily Double.

It’s one of the most reliable exercises I know to help your relationship.

You can also attend the next Couples Institute Communication Workshop.

Register here.



Peter Pearson, Ph.D., and his wife, Dr. Ellyn Bader, founded The Couples Institute in 1984. Both are psychologists and directors of the Institute and have helped over a thousand couples in their work.

Pete is an engaging and dynamic therapist, speaker and writer. His work includes practical skills, advanced techniques in regulating difficult emotions and entertaining vignettes from his own marriage to demonstrate how some impasses are managed.

He has been featured in over 50 radio and television programs including “The Today Show” and “CBS Early Morning News,” and quoted in publications including “The New York Times,” “Oprah Magazine” and “Cosmopolitan.” His popular book, “Tell Me No Lies,” has been of critical help to many couples.

Category: Couples' Blog,Miscellaneous,Newlyweds,Vision
Tags: , , , , , Forward to a Friend

Please Comment ↴

Menu Title