What new marriages can learn from failed restaurants
As you probably know, the divorce rate for American couples in a first marriage is about 50%. When you factor in the high numbers of couples who don’t divorce, but stay together in mutual misery, the track record for failed marriages is even worse.
Disaster Preparedness for Your Marriage
I live with my wife, Ellyn, over a major earthquake fault line in the San Francisco Bay area. It’s an area famous for past and inevitable future quake disasters. Geological experts predict another big one is coming. Be prepared. Ellyn and I have stored a few bottles of water and a camping stove. Do you […]
Doing the maintenance on your ship is worth it.
The British Navy dominated the oceans for hundreds of years. What was their secret? They cleaned and did maintenance on the hulls of their ships. Their enemies took little care of theirs. The British sailors removed barnacles, seaweed and saltwater clams. Keeping the bottom of the boat smooth gave them a critical advantage – a […]
Is there a corpse in your living room?
Realtors and carpenters alike say that when a couple moves to a new house, they’ll see things that could use some fixing up. The carpenters and realtors also say the couple has about six months to take action on the repairs. After that the repairs fade into oblivion even though they continue to get worse […]
What if your spouse said this on your honeymoon?
“Honey, I’ve been thinking. Nobody who says, ‘I do’ ever thinks they will split up. Yet 50% of marriages fall off the cliff. It seems like most of those marriages have a lot of arguments or unresolved conflicts. So here’s my proposal. Just tell me how you want me to be and I will devote […]
Why We Lie, and How to Get Back to the Truth
We’re going to talk about lies. Why do we lie – ever? And while it’s easy to perhaps scapegoat people who aren’t telling the whole truth – as with anything in relationship – it takes TWO to tango – so how does the person who’s being lied TO help create the dynamic? Most importantly – […]
5 Ways Your Wedding Vows Will Save Your Marriage
Did you think your wedding vows were just a check off the list for your wedding day preparations? Here’s how they could save your marriage. 1. Wedding vows are an antidote to your worst self. You’re mean, picky, and you hide the truth. All of us have done this as some point. And most of […]
Couples As a Team: Questions to Discuss with Your Partner
Build your foundation today so you can thrive tomorrow. These questions pull for your values, interests, challenges and perhaps priorities… all things to explore with each other as you contemplate working as a team. Discuss these questions when you are relaxed and have ample time, perhaps over a nice dinner. 1. What gives me energy […]
Deep Listening on a Japanese Subway
An account by the first American Aikido Master trained in Japan, Terry Dobson The train clanked and rattled through the suburbs of Tokyo on a drowsy spring afternoon. Our car was comparatively empty – a few housewives with their kids in tow, some old folks going shopping. I gazed absently at the drab houses and […]
Couples As a Team: The Daily Double
Here’s something you can do for your relationship today. It’s called The Daily Double. You earn two points today by doing two positive things on the positive list below, while avoiding doing any of the negative behaviors from the list at the end. Let’s up the ante and go for the Thirty Day Challenge. Do […]
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