What if your spouse said this on your honeymoon?

Couple on the beach at the ocean

“Honey, I’ve been thinking. Nobody who says, ‘I do’ ever thinks they will split up. Yet 50% of marriages fall off the cliff. It seems like most of those marriages have a lot of arguments or unresolved conflicts. So here’s my proposal.

Just tell me how you want me to be and I will devote all my efforts to being that way. If I become what you want, there will be no disagreements or conflicts. It will be like living in Candyland. Forever. What do you think?”

Do you think, “Wow, I can’t believe my luck; I really hit the jackpot”?

Or do you think, “Yikes, if that happens then all the individuality, uniqueness, quirkiness and specialness will evaporate. Snoozeville. Nope, it’s vive la difference for me.”

Possible conclusion: differences are not the problem; it is how couples manage those differences as a team that determines how magnificent the marriage will be.

Imagine a basketball team where everybody has the same skill. They are the best shooters of all time but can’t dribble.

This team will never become great.

Teams need different skill sets to become great.

So do marriages.

Teamwork and differences do the trick.

TEAM = Together Each Accomplishes More

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Peter Pearson, Ph.D.

Dr. Peter Pearson, Ph.D., Relationship & Teamwork Expert for Entrepreneur Couples Pete has been training and coaching couples to become a strong team since 1984 when he co-founded The Couples Institute with his psychologist wife, Dr. Ellyn Bader. Their popular book, “Tell Me No Lies,” is about being honest with compassion and growing stronger as a couple. Pete has been featured on over 50 radio and television programs including “The Today Show,” "Good Morning America,” and "CBS Early Morning News,” and quoted in major publications including “The New York Times,” “Oprah Magazine,” “Redbook,” “Cosmopolitan,” and “Business Insider.”

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