The gift of a stronger connection and a stronger union
Create some quiet uninterrupted time and space to do this exercise with your partner. Imagine if your partner focused on bringing out the best in you. Each partner has different talents, skills, and knowledge than the other. Do you capitalize on each other’s strengths? Great teams do that. Quarterbacks don’t play linebacker. Drummers don’t play the […]
Surprising marriage lesson from a palm tree climber – it’s not pruning
I am writing from Hawaii, Ellyn’s and my favorite place to reorganize, reprioritize, and regenerate. I was walking back to our unit and stopped to watch a gardener climb a very tall and quite thin palm tree to prune some dying branches at the top. He used spikes on his shoes and a rope around […]
Building a Foundation for Working with Highly Distressed Couples
When working with a couple that’s in deep distress, it can be a challenge to get each partner to look at his or her own role in the problems. More often than not, both partners blame and try to make the case that the other is at fault. What neither partner wants is for you […]
What Would You March For?
Dateline Hong Kong August 18, 2019 Protestor March 5:03 PM I am standing in front of a mall in the middle of Hong Kong as thousands of marchers parade by me in the rain. No violence. No threats. No police brutality. Some chants in Chinese but not too much or too loud. Some marchers are […]
Pete’s Interview – Stages of Relationships – Triggers
Thanks for your interest in my recent interview on NPR. I hope you get some valuable insights for your relationship regarding: The stages of a relationship or marriage Lies we tell our partners Triggers we have that cause challenges in our relationships You won’t want to miss my impromptu session with a stranger where I […]
The Cookie Jar Marriage
The cookie jar is an interesting concept. It’s so much more than a storage container! It’s where kids head for an immediate snack when feeling down or to celebrate when feeling great. Know what? We never outgrow the lure of the cookie jar Only now there are different kinds of cookies in the jar. Instead […]
A grave digger’s perspective about one kind of marriage
I used to be a grave digger. College summer job. No heavy equipment. Just two good shovels, pick axe, tape measure, string, and a tarp. I wasn’t that philosophical then. I could not have imagined that someday I’d see parallels between that and my current psychology practice specializing in couple’s therapy. I’m talking about the […]
Teamwork: From now on if someone calls me chicken . . .
From now on if someone calls me “chicken,” I’ll take that as a huge compliment. For any person – especially a male – being called chicken is a searing insult. But not for me. Not anymore. Not after what I witnessed. Here’s the back story. It was a summer afternoon on my vacation in Kauai. […]
Rituals for Mother’s Day
Contrary to the cynic’s belief, Mother’s Day is not an invention of Hallmark. The roots actually predate Hallmark, going back to ancient Egyptians, Greeks and Romans. Now’s a good time to think about Mother’s Day rituals in your family. According to Wikipedia, Mother’s Day in America was created by Anna Jarvis Grafton in 1908 as […]
Reflections on Motherhood
Most couples have no idea about the stresses of parenthood before the first child arrives. Sleep deprivation, economic stress, cranky kids, too little time together and challenging limit setting all stress the most loving relationship. And well-meaning in-laws can stir up trouble too. Nobody said motherhood was easy. Watch this video to see some reflections […]
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