Can You Be as Considerate as a Rattlesnake?

Can You Be as Considerate as a Rattlesnake?

Imagine you are leisurely walking through the woods thoroughly enjoying the perfect weather and the serenity of nature.  Then you are jolted into a salvo of fear – by an unmistakable sound. The tail shaking of a rattlesnake.  Your emotional brain demands you freeze at this moment.  And you do.  You hold your breath, look around, and listen […]

How to Get the Most from Our Work Together

Couples are often uncertain what to expect from the process of couples coaching. They are not sure of what to expect of the coach or even if the coach has any expectations of them. I have found most couples approach coaching with the notion that each person will describe their distress and somehow the coach […]

Passive-Aggressive Partners, Part 2: Guiding the Discussions

Passive-Aggressive Partners, Part 2: Guiding the Discussions

It can be so infuriating to have a couple come to you for help, and then they refuse essentially all the help you try to provide! I’ve been there, and you have too – possibly too many times to count. And in a lot of these situations, we’re seeing a couple whose relationship is filled […]

Passive-Aggressive Spouses and the Struggle for Progress, Part 1

Passive Spouses and The Struggle For Progress, Part 1

Many couples hope that we therapists can magically solve their problems by fixing what’s wrong with the other partner.  And nowhere is this faulty thinking more active than in couples where one or both parties show passive-aggressive patterns. There are nearly 300 mental disorders in the DSM-5, but the two I took special interest in […]

What Is Your Love Language?

Has it ever dawned on you that your partner may not experience love the same way you do? If you have been together a while, you may have figured this out by now. Lest there be any doubt, a great question to ask your partner is, what’s your love language? When you ask about love […]

What Would You March For?

Dateline Hong Kong August 18, 2019 Protestor March 5:03 PM I am standing in front of a mall in the middle of Hong Kong as thousands of marchers parade by me in the rain. No violence. No threats. No police brutality. Some chants in Chinese but not too much or too loud. Some marchers are […]

Pete’s Interview – Stages of Relationships – Triggers

Dr Dr. Peter Pearson

Thanks for your interest in my recent interview on NPR. I hope you get some valuable insights for your relationship regarding: The stages of a relationship or marriage Lies we tell our partners Triggers we have that cause challenges in our relationships You won’t want to miss my impromptu session with a stranger where I […]

The Cookie Jar Marriage

The cookie jar is an interesting concept. It’s so much more than a storage container! It’s where kids head for an immediate snack when feeling down or to celebrate when feeling great. Know what? We never outgrow the lure of the cookie jar Only now there are different kinds of cookies in the jar. Instead […]

A grave digger’s perspective about one kind of marriage

I used to be a grave digger. College summer job. No heavy equipment. Just two good shovels, pick axe, tape measure, string, and a tarp. I wasn’t that philosophical then. I could not have imagined that someday I’d see parallels between that and my current psychology practice specializing in couple’s therapy. I’m talking about the […]

Teamwork: From now on if someone calls me chicken . . .

Mother hen with baby chicks

From now on if someone calls me “chicken,” I’ll take that as a huge compliment. For any person – especially a male – being called chicken is a searing insult. But not for me. Not anymore. Not after what I witnessed. Here’s the back story. It was a summer afternoon on my vacation in Kauai. […]