First of Four-Part Series: Challenges of Hostile Angry Couples
I consult on so many cases where therapists are struggling to be effective leaders with hostile angry couples, I know it is a widespread problem. The more disorganized a couple is and the more hostility there is, the more difficult it’s going to be for you to structure sessions and arrive at effective goals for […]
A Fresh Perspective on The Couples Conference
One attraction of The Couples Conference is that in addition to presenting and learning, I am able to connect with colleagues and meet face-to-face for the first time with some of the members of my online training group. One of those therapists wrote an informative summary of the conference that’s also an inspiring message. I […]
Update on Couples Conference 2015
This year’s Couples Conference has come and gone. Happily, it turned out to be another dynamic meeting filled with therapists from many countries as well as those from the United States. This year I conducted a workshop on self-absorbed partners with Sue Diamond-Potts. Sue is my assistant in the online training program and she also […]
Your Yearly Update from the Wisdom 2.0 Conference
Each year I enjoy a special weekend attending the Wisdom 2.0 conference with Pete, our daughter, Molly, and some other special friends. A second pleasure of the Conference is reviewing my notes and sending some insights to you. A central theme explored by this conference is how do we live with wisdom, awareness and compassion […]
Motivation in Couples Therapy
Spotlight on Kenya: Hope for a Better Future
In 2009 a Canadian couple with a dream and $1000 in their nonprofit bank account were inspired to build schools in Kenya for refugees displaced by political and tribal violence. Stu McLaren, an internet marketer and his wife, Amy, a second grade teacher, wanted to bring two things to these communities: hope and education. They […]
Painful Interactions Are Defining Moments in Couples Therapy
Sooner or later you will encounter a situation where one partner is aggressively triggered in your office. They explode after hearing an unexpected comment. At that point they are flooded with emotion and become explosively furious. They often just want to “express their rage” and they definitely don’t want to be interrupted. The spouse can’t […]
To Think or Not to Think
Here are two very different couples therapy resources for you to consider… Long ago I immersed myself in studying object relations theory. Winnicott was one of the many authors I read. Claire Rabin’s book Winnicott and ‘Good Enough’ Couple Therapy brought me back to some of my early roots. However, what I liked even more […]
Kenya: The Transformative Power of Hope
If you have known me for a while, you know that Pete and I are very dedicated to building schools for displaced refugee communities in Kenya. I’ve wanted to write to you for weeks, since returning from our most recent trip. At last I am able to write, after recovering from jet lag and catching […]
Creating Intrapsychic Change in Self-Absorbed Partners
In my previous blog, I started showing you the elegance of using Gestalt two-chair work to transform self-absorbed parts of your clients. With self-absorbed partners, it’s important to recognize that self-absorption is an intrapsychic problem and that you will want to focus intrapsychically in many sessions. It’s also important to note that, during therapy, the […]
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