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A very distressed, acrimonious couple comes to see you for couples therapy. They’ve done significant damage to each other over the years. It seems they will fight about anything and you feel like you are getting nowhere. All your best efforts are thwarted. You say to them, “I’m sorry to give you some bad news. You are faced with two ugly choices. This is probably not what you want to hear. Yet, it is your current reality.”… Read more...
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chronic angerA Disarming Confrontation in Couples TherapyA very distressed, acrimonious couple comes to see you for couples therapy. They’ve done significant damage to each other over the years. It seems they will fight about anything and you feel like you are getting nowhere. All your best efforts are thwarted. You say to them, “I’m sorry to give you some bad news. You are faced with two ugly choices. This is probably not what you want to hear. Yet, it is your current reality.”… Read more...
Self-Reflection in Chronically Angry Couples
This month I’m writing about the chronically angry couple. These couples often wait too long to go to therapy or may have tried therapy with a therapist who did not provide enough structure for them. At the beginning, these couples need structure and they need for the therapist to be especially clear about the direction of their work.
Chronically angry couples have several traits in common:
1. Frequent, rapid escalation of hostility (either overtly or passive-aggressively)
2. High demand for intimacy without the developmental capacity to support the demand
3. Minimal self responsibility paired with an avoidance of vulnerability
4.… Read more...
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