My Experiment with Pain – And How it Applies to Your Relationship
I had an amazing discovery as I tried anxiously to relax – while my dental hygienist cleaned my teeth. We were discussing the use of nitrous oxide (“laughing gas”) as an alternative to the topical anesthetic gel she usually puts on my oversensitive gums. Interestingly, she explained that unlike the topical anesthetic, nitrous oxide does […]
Kids’ Thoughts on Love
What is love? It seems to be the primary reason for couples getting and staying together. Yet how do you define it? What are examples of it that can be instantly recognized? Philosophers and poets have struggled with the concept of love for years. Well, here’s another take. Someone did a small survey on examples […]
More on the “Empty Nest Syndrome”
QUESTION: I am a working mom with two kids, a teen-aged son and a college-aged daughter. This year my daughter has decided she would like to stay in her college town rather than come home for the summer, and I am having a very hard time with it. I know she will have more fun […]
A Successful Marriage is a Series of Unnatural Acts
I recently completed my 64th weekend workshop for couples. Once again I was impressed by a group of intrepid couples who were willing to leave their emotional comfort zone to create a more successful marriage for themselves. One of the exercises of the workshop is brainstorming a list of effective communication behaviors and attitudes. Then […]
The Passive-Aggressive Male
Gentleman: Ever wonder why you’re driving people crazy? These are some of the things that the passive aggressive male says:– “Nothing. I’m just thinking.”– “No, why do you ask?”– “Angry?”– “I don’t hate it.”– “I won’t stop you.”– “What’s the problem?” These are some of the things that a passive-aggressive man does:– Has a new […]
How to Write an Apology
Being apologetic doesn’t come easily for me. Unfortunately, being inconsiderate and self-centered does. So I realized long ago that my marital survival would depend on two things: 1) learning to apologize and 2) becoming less selfish and more considerate. It was easier to start with apologies. Over time I got better and better at learning […]
Play “Twenty Questions” With Your Partner
Do you remember the game “Twenty Questions?” You could ask twenty questions to identify what thing the other person was thinking about. Here’s a variation on that, for your next dinner date or when you have some spare time. Using the questions below, you can find out a little more about your partner and vice […]
Super Negotiating for Couples
Marriage is a challenge. Growing your business is a challenge. What happens when you try to combine the two? I know first-hand how daunting it is to blend these two endeavors. You see, I’m in business with my wife. For over twenty years my wife and I, both psychologists, have directed The Couples Institute. As […]
how to make your ex boyfriend want you again
a way to win your ex back how to get your ex girlfriend to come back or how can you make your girlfriend to get back with you how to write a letter to win your boyfriend back, etc. Reprinted from the January/February, 2005 issue of “Psychotherapy Networker” Question: I find that in the early […]
7 Steps to Help Your Partner Want to Change
Everyone has something they’d like to change in their partner. Unfortunately too many partners believe, “If my partner loves me they should want to change.” Frequently this creates quite a power struggle. Here is a 7-step process to create a change in your partner. The key to the success of this process is that it […]
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