Tracking Success by Doing “The Daily Double”

Here’s something you can do for your relationship today. It’s called The Daily Double and it’s a way of tracking success in your relationship. You earn two points today by doing two positive things on the positive list below, while avoiding doing any of the negative behaviors from the list at the end. Let’s up […]
My Marriage Is Like a Bunch of Rhinos

Ellyn and I have a special interest in Africa. We’ve been fortunate to travel there a few times, building classrooms in refugee camps and sometimes even going on safaris. On our last African safari I discovered the correlation between rhinos and my marriage. It’s embarrassingly true. I learned a group of rhinos is called a […]
New Research: A big cause of marital distress is . . . Santa Claus.

That’s right dear reader, Santa Claus causes marital distress. Please back away from the ledge and take a deep breath. You will need it for what follows. What is a common tradition for many children at Christmas time? They write to Santa for all the things they want. Or they sit on his lap in […]
Combat holiday stress with this brain hack

It’s common knowledge that the holidays can be stressful for lots of people. Some of the stress comes from feeling overwhelmed by the added projects, tasks, expenses and other obligations of the season. Perhaps you’re overwhelmed balancing expectations of different family members. Or you’re frustrated trying to make everyone happy. Another kind of stress comes […]
Taking the stress out of holiday preparation

Sisyphus from Greek mythology was condemned to repeat forever the same meaningless task of pushing a boulder up a mountain, getting close to the top only to see it rolling down again. Does your holiday preparation feel like a similar fate? For example, let’s say you are hosting the happy event. Let’s assume the lion’s […]
Are your expectations for the holidays too high?

Ah, Sisyphus, the legendary rock roller from Greek mythology. He was forever doomed to push the boulder up the mountain only to have it roll back. Again and again. Sisyphus may have been the original example of insanity. You’ve probably heard that definition: insanity is doing the same darn thing over and over again, expecting […]
Make the best of family conversations over the holiday

Holidays are filled with all kinds of repeating stresses. Many people dread spending time with family over a holiday. Relatives are thrown together whether they like it or not, often for repeated stories, complaints and arguments. Are you ready to tackle Aunt Martha’s searing comments about your weight? First, recall Sisyphus from Greek mythology. He […]
This Single Communication Tip Will Save Your Marriage

Want to save your marriage? You should know that under stress, couples do three things that are relationship killers. All three are self-protective reactions to pain or fear. But self-protection to one partner is poison to the other. Here is the list of three killers. Disengage, go silent, withdraw, retreat. This is an attempt to […]
Download “Three Tricky Questions”
You made it! Get your answers here, “Answers to Three Tricky Questions Couples Ask Their Therapists” …answers to questions that can catch any therapist off guard. Thanks again for your dedication to couples, and I hope these help you in your client conversations. Remember to let us know what you think below in the comments. […]
3 Weddings and 4 Questions

There are only three weddings happening this year at The Couples Institute. And we are being facetious – we haven’t had a wedding of an associate or staffer happen in quite a while! First, our bookkeeper, Daniel, married his long time partner Hunt in May. They’d been together for 26 years so their ceremony was […]