symbiosis

Choice Points in Disrupting Symbiosis in Conflict-Avoidant Couples: Moving These Couples Forward

When you are working with a conflict-avoiding couple, it is especially difficult to create positive forward moving momentum. These couples merge boundaries often and it can be a challenge to disrupt the status quo. If you search for openings in the issues they present, you will find choice points that enable you to disrupt their symbiosis. First, start by supporting their interactions that are truly positive and that are part of a healthy relationship. This is important because, once you start disrupting their symbiosis, it will be scary for them. So, the more they sense that you're in their corner – with them as a couple and as individuals – the safer they're going to feel, and the more able they will be able to risk new behavior.… Read more...

“What Happens When I’m Not In Love Anymore?”

–Strategies for Increasing Differentiation and Rebuilding Love and Passion In our last newsletter, we started looking at specific challenges presented in early sessions. One challenge is presented by the partner who says, “I love him but I am not in love with him.” These are not welcome words-for the partners or the therapist. The first implication is that the semi-motivated partner is staying in the relationship out of a sense of duty and obligation. The troubling implication is that you, the therapist, will have to work very hard to attempt to breathe new life into a dying marriage.… Read more...
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