Confessions of a Marriage Counselor

I have a confession to make. I want to be accepted for who I am. I hear this lament from so many couples, it's universal. I bet you've even had the same thought yourself. Our culture teaches, “I'm okay, you're okay,” unconditional love, and win-wins for all. So what's the problem? I know it well. When my wife, Ellyn, criticizes me, I often think, “Hey, get off my back.” But this is just a camouflaged way of wanting unconditional acceptance. I'd rather she accept my behavior so I don't have to take a closer look at what's going on, work to improve myself, or negotiate a compromise with her.… Read more...