QUESTION

More on the “Empty Nest Syndrome”

QUESTION: I am a working mom with two kids, a teen-aged son and a college-aged daughter. This year my daughter has decided she would like to stay in her college town rather than come home for the summer, and I am having a very hard time with it. I know she will have more fun because her friends are there, but I have been looking forward to her coming home and feel so sad she won't be here. I don't want to put my needs on her, but on the other hand, I really want her home. Am I being unreasonable? (She is 20.) ANSWER: The simple answer to your courageous question about being unreasonable is a resounding “yes.” You say you don't want to put your needs first and then a part of you probably schemes of all kinds of ways you can entice your daughter to come home.… Read more...

Hope for “Empty Nesters”

QUESTION: This year my husband and I became empty nesters, and we are not adjusting well. I find that I am missing our daughter every day, and moping around waiting for her to come home. My husband has thrown himself into his work. We don't fight, but we are more roommates than spouses. Some of our friends have already split up since their kids left, so it is worrying me. Is there hope for us to reconnect? ANSWER: Of course there is hope, especially if there is a foundation to build on. But that is not where I would suggest starting. Let me offer you a sports analogy: Think of a professional athlete in the prime of his career, forced into retirement by injury.… Read more...