holidays

Combat holiday stress with this brain hack

It’s common knowledge that the holidays can be stressful for lots of people. Some of the stress comes from feeling overwhelmed by the added projects, tasks, expenses and other obligations of the season. Perhaps you’re overwhelmed balancing expectations of different family members. Or you’re frustrated trying to make everyone happy. Another kind of stress comes from other people in the extra social interactions and gatherings. Maybe you’re caught off guard by zingers from a supporter of the “other” political party. Or you’re stuck in conversation with the brother-in-law who criticizes everybody for something – and you for everything.… Read more...

Taking the stress out of holiday preparation

Sisyphus from Greek mythology was condemned to repeat forever the same meaningless task of pushing a boulder up a mountain, getting close to the top only to see it rolling down again. Does your holiday preparation feel like a similar fate? For example, let's say you are hosting the happy event. Let's assume the lion’s share of preparation has always fallen on you. Perhaps you have functioned like Sisyphus: every year you do most of the work, hoping your partner will step up and initiate more so you can enjoy the gathering. When that doesn’t happen, you feel depleted and angry. Like Sisyphus, you have been condemned to repeat the process.… Read more...

Are your expectations for the holidays too high?

Ah, Sisyphus, the legendary rock roller from Greek mythology. He was forever doomed to push the boulder up the mountain only to have it roll back. Again and again. Sisyphus may have been the original example of insanity. You’ve probably heard that definition: insanity is doing the same darn thing over and over again, expecting a different result. But you are different. Because you are going to stop pushing your rock this holiday season. Here’s another rock so many people push. It’s the rock of unrealistic expectations. Especially the expectations we place on others. We hope our partner will finally give us the perfect gift, our adult siblings will refrain from teasing us at the dinner table, Uncle Al will stay sober through the evening, and that Mom and Dad will give us some unconditional acceptance.… Read more...

Make the best of family conversations over the holiday

Holidays are filled with all kinds of repeating stresses. Many people dread spending time with family over a holiday. Relatives are thrown together whether they like it or not, often for repeated stories, complaints and arguments. Are you ready to tackle Aunt Martha’s searing comments about your weight? First, recall Sisyphus from Greek mythology. He was condemned to repeat forever the same meaningless task of pushing a boulder up a mountain, getting close to the top only to see it roll down again. Maybe that’s how you currently approach those holiday conversations, for example, when Aunt Martha says, “So sweetie, I understand Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers have new programs especially designed for those holiday temptations.” If you choose to follow in the steps of Sisyphus, you will try to change how Aunt Martha thinks about your size.… Read more...

6 Ways to Holiday-Proof Your Relationship

nuts, oramge and xmas lightsThe hustle and the bustle of the holiday season are upon us. It’s not an easy time even for folks in perfectly happy relationships, much less anyone who feels tension or is struggling with a significant other. Here are 6 ways to reduce holiday stress.… Read more...

Gifts that Give!

With the holiday season around the corner, the necessity of gift-giving is on most of our minds. Many of us feel pressured to provide and ‘prove’ our love for others in a strictly material way.  But, gift-giving is much more than just spending.  If done thoughtfully, it can provide a wonderful emotional, social & spiritual effect on you and your loved ones.… Read more...

How To Enjoy Your Family and In-Laws This Year

Are you already playing out scenarios in your head about what could go wrong this holiday season? Maybe you are tired of feeling uncomfortable around the in-laws, or dreading the arguments that tend to come up between you and your partner. With so many different personalities and conflicting desires coming together, it can be challenging to stay centered and feel enthusiastic about the holidays! …Which is why I have put together some tips for you. Who says this year can’t be different from the others?… Read more...

Prevent Holiday Travel Stress with These 3 Tips

  The holidays all sound good in theory – the gifts you’ll receive, the catching up you’ll do with family, a soft wintry morning snowfall depending on where you land. But sometimes the anticipation and goodness are quickly derailed as you’re even just traveling to get there, be it by a flight delay, a screaming kid, or just a conversation gone wrong.  (Photo credit: Huff Post Travel & Leisure Online Community Members) Remember these three words: Attitude, Latitude, and Gratitude.  … Read more...

Attachment Theory in Couples Therapy

For three weeks in November, I served as a faculty member of a wonderful on-line forum on Attachment Theory and Couples Therapy. We had an enlightening dialogue about both the research and clinical application of attachment theory concepts to couples therapy. In the process, I discovered the Couple Attachment Interview. I was introduced to it by Carolyn and Phil Cowan. While many of you may know the AAI, this interview is specific to couples. The CAI is an interview where an individual provides a narrative about his/her relationship with a current romantic/marriage partner. It is designed to assess a partner's frame of mind about attachment.… Read more...
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