Have you ever finished a couples therapy session wondering,

“Why do I care more than they do?”

They nod. They agree.

And then they don’t follow through.
Every “Sure, I’ll try” turns into “Oops, I forgot.”

They talk. They wander. They don’t initiate.

Their spouse takes over – trying, fixing, pushing. And you’re stuck in the middle trying to figure out how to make something happen.

It’s not that you’re missing something obvious. It’s that you’re working with a dynamic that was built to stall out. One partner hides behind confusion. The other takes control. And the more you try to help, the more they both dig in.

That frustration you feel? That's not a sign you're failing... That’s the invisible warning sign you’re in a passive-aggressive loop.

This isn’t a personality disorder problem.

It’s a leadership problem.

And if you don’t know how to lead this kind of couple, they will quietly erode your confidence, one vague session at a time until you’re burned out and they’re thinking, “we knew you couldn’t help us.”

If you’ve heard things like…

“I just want to talk – not set goals.”

“We’ve tried that before.”

“They don’t care.”

“They're always blaming me.”

…this training is for you.

And you’re likely working with a passive-aggressive client. Or as I call them:
the help-rejecting complainer.

They’re not just difficult. They’re draining. And they’ll lead to burn-out faster than almost any other kind of client.

Why This Client is Uniquely Hard to Work With

They want relief, but they fear the path that leads to it.

They’ve been burned before.
They’ve learned that setting goals leads to disappointment. That vulnerability gets met with criticism. So they’ve armored up with passivity and polite deflection.

Which means...

So What Does Work?

Not what you’ve been taught in linear models. Not what evidence based therapy teaches you to do. No worksheet or clever metaphors will lead you out of this forest of fog.

And asking them to “clarify what they want?” Forget about it.

What works is learning how to:

Navigate the client’s internal civil war

Interrupt the “vent, agree, reject” cycle

Create direction without force

Stay in leadership without aligning with the over-functioner

Stop chasing insight in a client dedicated to dodging it

What You’ll Learn in This Training

Why This Matters

Using traditional methods to work with the passive-aggressive client gives you as much chance of success as sinking a battleship with a BB gun. But if you can learn to reach them, you’ll never feel outmatched again.

Which means, if you can lead this client…
You can lead any client.

This training will teach you how. Not with formulas. When it comes to this dynamic, clarity and courage matter more than clever techniques. Together, we will build the courage to try new things and the clarity to lead through resistance.

This Is For You If:

You’ve ever felt personally irritated by a client’s passivity

You find yourself siding with the over-functioning partner

You’ve had clients say “yes” to everything – and change nothing

You’re tired of wasting time in sessions that go nowhere

You want to stay in the room, not check out emotionally

You feel burned out but can’t afford to see fewer clients

What Therapists Say

“Pete will challenge you—right off the bat—to think differently in a way that is stimulating and insightful, warm and direct all at the same time.”

Deborah Hecker, Ph.D., Florida

“Thanks to Pete, I’ve become bolder. Less intimidated by the roadblocks couples put up. More willing to experiment.”

Tom Adams, LMFT, Washington

“Pete is one of the best teachers I have ever had (and I’ve had a lot of good ones!). Every single training I take with him, I think to myself, “I can’t possibly learn more from him THIS time,” and then I am proven wrong in HUGE ways every time! I love his style, bringing humor and tons of stories and metaphors that we can utilize with clients. He is such a great reminder that this work can and should be tons of fun!”

Leslie Sherman, LMFT, California

“Pete’s willingness to experiment makes him one of the best teachers I’ve had the privilege to learn from. He has helped me gain so much more confidence in my work.”

Eric Hegmann, Couples Therapist, Germany

Why learn from me, Dr. Pete Pearson?

You could figure this out on your own. That’s what I did – for decades. Thomas Edison said it best, “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.” Until now.

This webinar is the distillation of what finally did work. I’ll show you how you can start applying it – without spending the next 10 years in trial and error.

I’m a performance expert, a leadership and relationship coach, a trainer to therapists in 75 countries, and a life-long experimenter.

I’ve explored techniques with couples for 40+ years and have honed the process of getting distressed couples to “buy in” so they stop seeing therapy as a battle.

I’ve completely changed the way I work – I no longer focus on fixing problems, but inspire couples to build something new together. I’ve taught workshops, classes, and mentored therapists for decades and thanks to thousands of hours of role-play and real client work, I’ve found the secret to getting stubborn, defensive partners to actually listen. And in the process, taught therapists around the world how to make therapy feel exciting instead of like a painful chore.

Event Details

Why This Training Pays For Itself – Many Times Over

Historically, my rate has ranged from $375-600 for a consultation, depending on the length.

The other way to learn with such personal, individual attention is if you are in my wife Dr. Ellyn Bader’s advanced training program, after completing a prerequisite course that costs $2,268.

Or you could wait until fall—when I might teach a series on this topic, but that will be priced 3-4x higher than this webinar.

This 120-minute training is just $99.

That’s less than the cost of one clinical hour. And it’s likely the best deal you’ll ever get for this level of targeted, high-stakes guidance.

You’ll get real insight, real strategy, and a way forward if you are ready to stop feeling annoyed and paralyzed by the most frustrating couples you see.

You’ll walk away not with a checklist.
Not a rigid model. But something far more valuable:

The single most important shift to get traction with the passive-aggressive / over-functioning dynamic

An understanding of the sneaky pattern that keeps you working harder than your clients

Why your own frustration may be the single best diagnostic tool in your toolbox, once you know how to use it

Join Us

Stop being outmaneuvered by the help-rejecting complainer.

Learn how to lead the most frustrating client in couples therapy – and grow stronger in every other session you enter.

Leading Without Pleading:

New Strategies for Making Progress with the Passive-Aggressive Client and Their Over-functioning Partner

June 27, 9–11am Pacific | Includes: Live role-play, clinical teaching, Q&A, replay

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

1. I’ve been trained in CBT and DBT. Isn’t that enough for working with passive-aggressive clients?

It’s a good start, but it won’t take you as far as you want with this dynamic. CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) rely on transparency, collaboration, and a willingness to change. Passive-aggressive clients often appear compliant while quietly resisting every step forward.

This training addresses what those models miss: the developmental bind, the over-functioning partner, and the subtle power struggle that keeps therapy stuck.

2. I’m already overwhelmed. Is this going to be just more techniques to remember?

No. This isn’t a “stack of tools” training. It’s a clinician-to-clinician guide to seeing clearly, leading effectively, and protecting your energy in the room. You’ll walk away with fewer things to do because you’ll be more effective with the things you will do going forward.

3. Is this just about passive-aggressive personalities? Because not all my clients meet that label.

That’s exactly the point. This isn’t about diagnosis. It’s about behavior. And many partners in couples therapy exhibit passive-aggressive patterns – especially under stress. This training helps you recognize and respond to the dynamic, no matter how it presents.

4. What if I don’t work with couples very often?

This dynamic shows up everywhere. In individuals, in families, and especially in couples. If you see even 1-2 couples per week, the question isn’t if you will see this dynamic, it’s when. You will find yourself frustrated with help-rejecting clients, or stuck between a burned-out over-functioner and an under-motivated partner. You can be prepared for that moment.

5. What’s actually included in the training?

A 120-minute live webinar with Dr. Pete Pearson, including teaching segments with concrete strategies, a role play demonstration so you can see what effective leadership looks like, a live Q&A to bring your real cases and questions to the table and replay access so you can review and absorb it at your own pace.

6. What if I can’t attend live? Will there be a replay?

No problem. You will get the full replay, delivered to your inbox within 48 hours. You’ll have lifetime access to watch it whenever you want.

7. Can’t I just wait until Pete teaches a longer course?

You could. But that course topic isn’t confirmed, and it won’t be under $100. In fact, the only other way to access Pete’s teaching is through Ellyn’s advanced program, which requires a $2,268 prerequisite. This is your chance to learn directly from him—without the wait or the cost.

8. Is this worth the money?

If you’ve ever walked out of a session thinking, “Why do I care more than they do?” – then yes.
Solving the passive-aggressive + over-functioning dynamic isn’t just clinically satisfying. It’s good business. You’ll retain more couples, stop wasting time in sessions that go nowhere, and reduce burnout.
One or two extra sessions with a couple who would’ve dropped out can pay for this training.
The insight you gain will serve you for the rest of your career.

9. Does this come with CEs?

This product doesn’t come with CEs. Not because we forgot. But because we actually meant it that way. Two reasons why:

1. We’d rather build tools that help you in the room with clients — not tick boxes for boards that never see a session.

2. Offering CEs means passing the extra cost on to you. That didn’t sit right with us.

10. Isn’t labeling someone as ‘passive-aggressive’ just pathologizing them?

We agree, labeling clients is unhelpful and often counterproductive. That’s why this training focuses on patterns of behavior, not personality diagnoses. What we call “passive-aggressive” is shorthand for a dynamic we’ve seen thousands of times: agreement without follow-through, subtle deflection, chronic avoidance of accountability. These are behaviors – often protective strategies rooted in pain – not fixed traits.

The goal of this training is to help you name what’s happening without blame—so you can intervene with more clarity and less burnout.

11. This sounds a little too confrontational for me. I don’t want to shame my clients.

You’re right to be cautious. These clients are already defended. But avoiding confrontation doesn’t protect them – it often leaves them stuck. This training will show you how to lead without shaming, to confront without escalating. It’s about staying grounded while helping your clients face the discomfort they’ve spent years avoiding.

If you’re someone who values empathy, this training will expand what that empathy can do, so it doesn’t just soothe, but actually moves therapy forward.

12. $99 still feels like a stretch for me right now. Is it really worth it?

We understand that every dollar counts. But consider this:

You’ll encounter this dynamic – passive resistance + over-functioning – again and again in your work. Even one extra session with a couple who would have dropped out pays for this training.

This training is under $100. For 2 hours of clinical insight that can change the way you lead sessions for the rest of your career.

13. I’m not sure I’m advanced enough for this training. Will I be in over my head?

This is for working therapists – whether you’ve been in practice two years or twenty.
You don’t need advanced training in the Developmental Model. You don’t need to know every theory on resistance. You just need to care about being more effective with couples who make you question your skill and your sanity. If you’ve ever thought, “Why do I care more than they do?” – you’re in the right place.

14. My clients are complex. Trauma histories, neurodivergence, cultural differences. Will this even apply?

Yes. Because this training doesn’t offer cookie-cutter solutions. It offers a framework. A way of seeing through resistance. A way of staying out of the emotional tangle, while still leading with clarity.

Whether your clients are trauma survivors, on the spectrum, highly defended, or culturally different, the underlying dynamic we’re addressing – “please help me but don’t ask me to change” – shows up across backgrounds.

This is not about pathologizing or fixing people. It’s about helping them grow, without losing yourself in the process.