A Strong Start in Couples Therapy: Challenges Faced by Therapists in Early Sessions

A Strong Start in Couples Therapy: Challenges Faced by Therapists in Early Sessions

Couples often come to therapy with high hopes, vulnerability, and a spoken desire for transformation. They also come with years of pain, hostility, and unresolved issues. Their awareness of what creates change is usually minimal. 3 Paradoxes of Early Sessions  Clients want change, yet they resist it. They have big demands from each other and […]

Evolution of Psychotherapy Conference, Anaheim 2023

Evolution of Psychotherapy Conference, Anaheim 2023

Last month I attended the Evolution of Psychotherapy Conference, in Anaheim, CA. Their website identifies this conference as “The Premier Event for Psychotherapy Education.” And this particular one, their first fully live one since the pandemic, was especially anticipated. Another headline read, “Get ready for the best psychotherapy event in six years.” I presented much […]

What dynamics make change so challenging and hard to transcend?

What dynamics make change so challenging and hard to transcend

I am stuck at home with COVID when I had planned to be in a beach house with Pete and our grandchildren. I’m feeling tired, disappointed, and also a little fuzzy in the brain. But even that doesn’t stop me from thinking about couples therapy! I am thinking about what happens between two people that […]

Enduring Models of Couples Therapy: What principles have stood the test of time?

Enduring Models of Couples Therapy What principles have stood the test of time

Artificial Intelligence is currently one of the hottest topics in news and culture. I find it fascinating to think about with respect to couples relationships and also the client-therapist relationship. I wanted to have some fun kicking off the Couples Conference so I decided to create an Ellyn avatar to point out the paradox of […]

Making Strong Confrontations in the Aftermath of Infidelity

Making Strong Confrontations in the Aftermath of Infidelity

When a couple comes to see you in the aftermath of infidelity, there are always tough decisions for each partner and also for you, their therapist. In today’s blog, I’ll focus on one type of difficult confrontation you may need to make early in therapy. Consider the situation where each partner has a different agenda. […]

How The Initiator-Inquirer Process Helps Partners Develop Themselves

How the Initiator-Inquirer Process Helps Partners Develop Themselves

In a recent training session,  an experienced therapist presented a case about working with a heterosexual married couple who were deeply enmeshed with one another. Both partners handled many aspects of their lives in a positive way, but their relationship was filled with misunderstandings, resentments, and distance. They lacked clear boundaries and healthy ways of […]

Highlights from Couples Conference 2022

Highlights from Couples Conference 2022

In spite of the challenges of putting on another covid era conference, we had a stellar faculty of 10 discussing a wide variety of dynamic topics. Speakers covered everything from anxiety to sexuality – with gender, race and power also in the mix! Participants were mostly online, with just a small group of about 30 […]

Treating Highly Emotional Couples, Part 2

Relationships

In a recent post, I explored the challenges of working with couples who are so reactive to one another that every session rapidly descends into rage, blame, or tears. It can be hard to come back from this level of emotional chaos, especially when loud voices or aggressive behaviors shake your own sense of balance […]

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Learn from a pioneer and leader in couples therapy training as she shares exactly what to say in difficult therapy sessions.
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