Dr. Ellyn Bader is Co-Founder & Director of The Couples Institute and creator of The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy. Ellyn is widely recognized as an expert in couples therapy, and since 2006 she has led innovative online training programs for therapists. Professionals from around the world connect with her through internet, conference calls and blog discussions to study couples therapy. Ellyn’s first book, "In Quest of the Mythical Mate," won the Clark Vincent Award by the California Association of Marriage & Family Therapists for its outstanding contribution to the field of marital therapy and is now in its 18th printing. She has been featured on over 50 radio and television programs including "The Today Show" and "CBS Early Morning News," and she has been quoted in many publications including "The New York Times," "The Oprah Magazine" and "Cosmopolitan."
There’s a moment that happens in almost every couples therapy session, and I want to talk about it directly because it catches even experienced therapists off guard. A couple comes in carrying a real, specific conflict. It’s something concrete: maybe a dispute about money, or a disagreement about how to handle a situation with a […]
Have you felt yourself become the target of a client’s rage, or caught yourself bracing against an interaction that felt more like a brawl than therapy? Hostile-dependent couples are notorious for bringing the heat, and then demanding you do something about it. These couples are among the most challenging you will encounter. They are highly […]
Our dear friend and colleague Dr. Mark Brady was born at the end of July in 1946 and died at the end of July in 2025. As we approach the one year anniversary of his passing, we’re publishing this blog post about Neuroception, based on a Bonus Call he presented in my Developmental Model™ of […]
In my last blog post I discussed a couple where the wife came into therapy wanting transparency, especially around money and fidelity. She wanted more direct answers, more honesty, and more reassurance that she was not being kept in the dark. The husband, meanwhile, often responded in a way that looked calm on the surface but […]
