getting started with dm course details

The Developmental Model^TM: Getting Started with Couples Therapy and Relationship Change

Getting Started with the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy is a foundational training designed to equip clinicians with the core concepts, diagnostic tools, and early-stage interventions needed to work effectively with couples. This program provides a clear, structured introduction to the Developmental Model – a clinical framework that integrates Attachment Theory, Differentiation Theory, and neuroscience to help therapists understand where a couple is developmentally “stuck” and what is required for growth. Across the training, therapists learn how to accurately assess a couple’s developmental stage, identify the individual contributions each partner makes to the relationship dynamic, and establish strong therapeutic leadership from the very first session. The course emphasizes how to reduce reactivity, build motivation, and shift partners from blame to self-reflection. Clinicians receive practical tools, including diagnostic questionnaires, structured session frameworks, language scripts, and client handouts – that can be used immediately in practice. By focusing on early-phase assessment and intervention, the training helps therapists increase session clarity, avoid common pitfalls in couples work, and lay a solid foundation for long-term change.

Presenters

Ellyn Bader, PhD, Katherine Waddell, MS, Kelly Scharver, MA, Nancy St. John, and Tom Bruett, MS

Course Objectives

After completing this course you will be able to:

Identify the five developmental stages that relationships move through and describe how these stages influence relational dynamics.
Assess where a couple is developmentally “stuck” and articulate how this impacts treatment planning.
Use a structured diagnostic questionnaire to evaluate each partner’s perceptions, developmental challenges, and contributions to the relationship dynamic.
Interpret diagnostic results to create a targeted and effective treatment plan from the first session.
Conduct an effective first session using a structured sequence that reduces reactivity and increases clients’ self-reflection.
Lead couples away from blame by using three core questions that shift focus toward personal responsibility and developmental growth.
Establish clear therapeutic leadership by defining the therapist’s role, expectations, and boundaries from the outset of treatment.
Explain the purpose of autonomous, self-focused goals and guide partners in creating goals that support differentiation and long-term change.
Apply pre-goal questions that soften defensiveness and deepen reflective capacity in reactive couples.
Differentiate between developmental and non-developmental goals and teach clients how to identify meaningful, values-based intentions.
Use language and interventions that increase motivation, build trust, and help partners move from reactivity to intentional action.

References

Bader, Ph.D., Ellyn. 2019. Strong Leadership in Couples Therapy: An Integrated Approach to Diagnosis and Treatment. California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists Magazine (CAMFT).
Hardy, N. R., & Fisher, A. R. (2018). Attachment versus differentiation: The contemporary couple therapy debate. Family Process, 57(2), 557-571.
Doherty, W. J., Harris, S. M., Hall, E. L., Hubbard, A. K. (2021). How long do people wait before seeking couples therapy? A research note. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy 47(4): 882-890.
Doherty, W. J., Harris, S. M. (2022). Relationship-undermining statements by psychotherapists with clients who present with marital or couple problems. Family Process 61(3): 1195-1207.
Hardy NR, Maier CA, Gregson TJ. Couple teletherapy in the era of COVID- 19: Experiences and recommendations. J Marital Fam Ther. 2021;47:225–243. https://doi.org/10.1111/jmft.12501

Course fees, including what is covered, and deadlines for cancellations and refunds

The fee for this course is $197 or 2 payments of $99. The course including the CE package is $232 or 2 payments of $134 and $99 (second payment is charged within 30 days).

Course fee covers lifetime access to 11 hours of on-demand training, including video training, 2 reading assignments, 12 printable handouts for use in session, 3 videos to share with clients, roleplays, demonstrations, and video examples of concrete language and first-session walkthroughs, and how to introduce these concepts to couples.

Refund Policy:

If you are not satisfied with your purchase, you may request a full refund within 7 days of the original purchase date. To request a refund, please contact us by email admin@couplesinstitute.com within this period. Refund requests received after 7 days are not eligible.

General Instructions/Requirements for CE/CME Participants

You must attend the course in full in order to receive CE credit. No partial credit will be awarded. This course is being offered for non-live distance learning CE credit. You do not have to attend live sessions- but must watch all recordings in order to earn credit. You will have to pass a post test with a score of 80% or higher and submit a course evaluation in order to earn your CE Certificate.

How to Get Your Completion Certificate

Praxis Continuing Education and Training has created a user-friendly, time-efficient online process for evaluating the course and receiving your certificate of completion. Three steps are described below. If you have problems or questions, contact us at info@praxiscet.com

After enrolled in the class, you will receive an instructional page with a specific web link included to access your post course completion website. By following this link, you will arrive on the Join Event webpage.
In the first field provided, enter the email address you used to register for the course.
- If this is your first time logging into the event page, you will need to complete all required fields including your address.
- Returning attendees only need to enter your email address. Type your email address and hit ENTER on your keyboard. This will direct returning attendees straight to your customer account page.
The course you recently completed will be pre-populated into your account. Click on the “Certificate” button located below the title of the course.
A pop-up menu will appear with the next steps. You will need to complete these steps from top to bottom (post-test, evaluation, affidavit).
Click “Download your Certificate,” or have your certificate emailed to you. You may return at any time to reprint your certificate if needed.

For Other Questions or Grievances

If at any point you have any other concerns, grievances, or questions please contact The Couples Institute office by phone at (650) 327-5915 or via email at admin@couplesinstitute.com

Please also let us know if you would like to request accommodations for individuals with disabilities.

CE Information

This professional continuing education activity was sponsored by Praxis Continuing Education and Training by New Harbinger and co-sponsored by the Couples Institute. Praxis Continuing Education and Training by New Harbinger, who has been approved as a provider of continuing education by the organizations listed below, maintains responsibility for the educational activity offered and for following the standards and regulations for the organizations listed below. This non-live distance learning activity is approved for 11 CE hours. Please review complete CE and conflict-of-interest disclosure information prior to registering.

NOT SURE IF YOUR PROFESSION IS COVERED BY THE BOARDS BELOW?

In that case, please contact your state licensing board to determine its acceptance of reciprocity with the organizations listed below. Not all state-level boards accept home study/independent study for continuing education nor do they all accept the national-level of accreditation listed below. In many cases, if your state is not specifically outlined below, you are covered for CE approval through reciprocity with another national board listed below. Please check with your state licensing board to confirm approval. Rules vary state by state. If your state does not accept any approvals outlined below, you may be able to self-submit the course to your board for approval. This distance learning homestudy course is approved for 11 hours of CE/CME credit.

Praxis CET maintains responsibility for the program with the CE approvals outlined below:

Joint Accreditation: In support of improving patient care, this activity has been planned and implemented by Praxis Continuing Education and Training by New Harbinger and the Couples Institute. Praxis Continuing Education and Training by New Harbinger is jointly accredited by the Accreditation Council for Continuing Medical Education (ACCME), the Accreditation Council for Pharmacy Education (ACPE), and the American Nurses Credentialing Center (ANCC), to provide continuing education for the healthcare team.

This activity was planned by and for the healthcare team, and learners will receive 11 Interprofessional Continuing Education (IPCE) credit for learning and change.

Psychologists:

Continuing Education (CE) credits for psychologists are provided through the co-sponsorship of the American Psychological Association (APA) Office of Continuing Education in Psychology (CEP). The APA CEP Office maintains responsibly for the content of the programs.

Social Workers:

As a Jointly Accredited Organization, Praxis Continuing Education and Training by New Harbinger is approved to offer social work continuing education by the Association of Social Work Boards (ASWB) Approved Continuing Education (ACE) program. Organizations, not individual courses, are approved under this program. State and provincial regulatory boards have the final authority to determine whether an individual course may be accepted for continuing education credit. Praxis Continuing Education and Training by New Harbinger maintains responsibility for this course. Social workers completing this course receive 11 clinical continuing education credits.

NOTE: Many state boards accept offerings accredited by national or other state organizations. If your state is not listed, please check with your professional licensing board to determine whether the accreditations listed are accepted.

CE course launch 2/1/2026

Expiration/review date 2/1/2029

Disclosure of Relevant Financial Relationships

Praxis Continuing Education and Training by New Harbinger is responsible for the content, quality and scientific integrity of all CE/CME activities certified for credit. When an educational activity is offered for medical (CME), Nursing (ANCC) and/or Psychology (APA) continuing education credit, participants must be informed as to the source, amount, nature, and disposition of any funding used to support the activity, whether in the form of educational grants, cash contributions, or in-kind contributions. Individuals in a position to influence course content must also disclose whether they have one or more relevant financial relationships with ineligible companies.

We define ineligible companies as those whose primary business is producing, marketing, selling, re-selling, or distributing healthcare products used by or on patients. There is no minimum financial threshold; individuals must disclose all financial relationships, regardless of the amount, with ineligible companies. We ask that discloses are made regardless of whether the individual views the financial relationships as relevant to the education. For more information on the Standards for Integrity and Independence in Accredited Continuing Education, please visit accme.org/standards.

All those in a position to control the content of an education activity are asked to disclose any relevant financial relationships they have with any ineligible companies.

There is no commercial support for this activity.

None of the planners or presenters for this educational activity have relevant financial relationship(s) to disclose with ineligible companies whose primary business is producing, marketing, selling, re-selling, or distributing healthcare products used by or on patients.

Technical Requirements

Participants must have an email address and access to a computer with internet.

Audience

This training is designed for mental health professionals who work with couples or who are preparing to include couples therapy in their practice, or work with individuals with relationship issues. It is appropriate for intermediate and advanced clinicians, as well as early-stage therapists seeking a strong, structured foundation in couples work. Ideal participants include psychologists, MFTs, LPCs, LCSWs, counselors, and other licensed or pre-licensed professionals who want to strengthen their diagnostic skills and improve their effectiveness with relationship challenges.

Course Agenda:

You are not required to attend the guided practice sessions live. You may watch the recording at your convenience. Below is the outline of required course material for CE credit.

MODULE 1: Overview of The Developmental Model™

Welcome from Dr. Ellyn Bader Co-Founder of The Couples Institute® and The Developmental Model™ (2 min)
Overview of The Developmental Model™ (58 min)
Getting Started Explaining The Developmental Model™ (39 min)
Talking About Differentiation (57 min)
Talking About the Developmental Stages (40 min)
Talking About Differentiation with Clients (40 min)

MODULE 2: Diagnosis of Couples Stages Using the Couples Questionnaire

Introduction to The Couples and Relationship Questionnaire (84 min)
Diagnosis of Couples Stages & Using Couples Assessment Tools (reading assignment, 10,646 words, 60 min)
The Couples Questionnaire (38 min)

MODULE 3: How to Get Off to a Powerful Start

Nuts and Bolts of Initial Interview in Couples Therapy (15 min)
Getting Off to a Strong Start Lesson (reading assignment, 7,465 words, 45 mins)
Hostile Angry Role Play – First Session (83 min)
Conflict Avoidant Role Play – First Session (54 min)

MODULE 4: Setting Autonomous Goals

What is an Autonomous Goal? (20 min)
Setting Autonomous Goals with Low Motivation Disorganized Couples (9 min)
Goal Setting Roleplay with Husband (20 min)
Goal Setting Roleplay with Wife (14 min)

Guided Practice (Role Play) Calls with Trainers

Talking About Differentiation with Clients (40 min)
Talking About the Developmental Stages (40 min)
The Couples Questionnaire (38 min)

Course Presenters

Dr. Ellyn Bader

Psychotherapist, Founder of The Couples Institute® and Creator of The Developmental Model^TM

Dr. Ellyn Bader is one of the early founders of “couples therapy,” as well as a recognized thought leader and trailblazer in relationship therapy worldwide. Acting on years of exploration and therapy sessions, she discovered that bringing the couple together in sessions was far more effective than working with each partner individually. When she took her idea to her peers, many laughed and said it wasn’t possible. Fast-forward to present day, and we can hardly imagine the world without couples therapy.

Through her informal research and thousands of sessions, Ellyn co-created “The Developmental Model,” a revolutionary approach that is highly adaptable to the complex needs of two people growing, changing, and staying connected in a relationship. The model has deeply influenced the therapeutic world and is currently used in 55 countries. It is taught by many graduate programs using her award-winning textbook In Quest of the Mythical Mate, which has been reprinted over 20 times.

Ellyn co-founded The Couples Institute® (1984) and co-authored Tell Me No Lies (2001) with her husband Dr. Peter Pearson, and the two have been a frequently trusted resource by TV, radio, podcast and print publications, appearing on Nightline, NPR, CBS This Morning, Today Show, Good Morning America, O Magazine, Cosmopolitan and over 70 others.

She continues to evolve the field of couples therapy through her tireless commitment. She offers world-class training to thousands of therapists on applying “The Developmental Model” and becoming masterful at the art of couples therapy.

Ellyn currently lives in California, and spends her time playing tennis, as well as working on new breakthrough techniques for speedy and long-lasting change for couples. She finds great meaning in traveling to Kenya to help build schools and establish counseling programs in refugee communities for traumatized children and families.

Katherine Waddell, LMFT

Katherine Waddell, LMFT, is the Co-Founder and Co-Director of the Couples Center of the Pioneer Valley, a group practice in Southern New England that is based on the Developmental Model.
Having specialized in couples work for over 25 years, she delights in providing clinical consultation, teaching and training to couples therapists and organizations locally and nationally. She also specializes in Discernment Counseling with couples on the brink of divorce, Addictions and Recovery, and is an avid practitioner of EMDR, bringing aspects of the Adaptive Information Processing Model into her couples work as couples struggle with trauma.
One of her favorite things to do is to assist therapists in learning the Developmental Model in manageable chunks, and helping therapists new to the model incorporate it into their own unique strengths and styles.

Kelly Scharver, LPC

Kelly Scharver, LPC, specializes in developmental model couples counseling and owns a private practice in Virginia Beach, VA. She has been an active member of the online Couples Institute training program since 2012. She actively uses the Bader-Pearson Developmental Model to help couples unveil what is keeping them stuck and guide them to positive growth. Kelly is passionate about working with couples and continually stretches herself personally and professionally to enrich her skill-set. Kelly has a MA in Professional Counseling and BA in Psychology and Fine Arts.
Kelly also has in-depth training in Re-decision Therapy and energy psychology protocols. She has found combining these modalities within the Developmental Model structure allows her to work deeply and effectively with couples. She is also been in partnership with her husband for over 20 years and has two daughters. When she isn’t with her family or working with couples she can be found playing beach volleyball or SUP surfing.

Nancy St. John, MIACP

I have worked as a couples counsellor for almost 15 years and have a busy couples therapy practice. I became a member of The Couples Institute in 2010 when I joined Ellyn's online training course. At the time I had no idea how life-changing this decision would be! I took part in the Couples Institute Master Mentoring course in 2016 and 2018. Being mentored by Ellyn and Pete, absorbing their wisdom, forming deep friendships, and being inspired by fellow mentees are all cherished experiences. I am also an integrative clinical supervisor and specialize in consulting with and supervising therapists who wish to integrate couples therapy into their practices. Couples therapy is my passion. I teach the Developmental Model in supervision groups and give presentations on different aspects of couples therapy for The Couples Institute. I have trained in many of the leading couples therapy approaches: RLT, EFT, Imago, The Gottman Method, The Doherty Approach and Discernment Counselling. I have trained in Transactional Analysis and Redecision Therapy and am also certified in EMDR and CBT and love finding ways to integrate aspects of all these approaches into the Developmental Model. I was born in Chicago and have lived most of my life in Ireland.

Tom Bruett, LMFT

Tom Bruett, LMFT, CST is a sex and relationship therapist, trainer, consultant, and author who works extensively with the queer community. He is the founder of the Queer Relationship Institute, which provides therapy for queer folx and training for therapists who work with queer relationships. Tom has trained under Drs. Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson in the Developmental Model of Relationship Therapy since 2017. His book The Go-To Relationship Guide for Gay Men: From Honeymoon to Lasting Commitment is published by JKP. Tom has been on multiple podcasts including Happy, Healthy Homo, Sex and Psychology with Justin LehMiller and The Couples Therapist Couch. He’s also an accomplished speaker and presenter and has spoken at national conferences like ASSECT.

The Developmental ModelTM: Getting Started with Couples Therapy and Relationship Change