But when your clients’ emotional brains are scrambling to get relief in a hurry, they put the pressure on you to fix them quickly.
And of course you want to!
You wouldn’t be the great therapist you are if you didn’t truly want to help your couples. You want to give them the relief, the tools, and the help they need to stop fighting and start connecting.
But the problem is, you’re up against a much bigger problem than they want to believe.
Their presenting problem is the 10% of the iceberg they can see. That’s what they want you to fix.
What they need is for you to address the issues that lurk in the 90% under the surface.
But how can you tackle such a huge problem when your couples are impatient, demanding, reactionary, or think they know best what they need?
Especially now when coronavirus has couples shut in together, tensions mount much more quickly. The need for relief is more necessary than ever.
Many therapists come to my wife, Ellyn Bader, and me feeling intense pressure to help their clients quickly. They feel anxious that they won’t know what to do in a session and the client will think they are a fraud. Even worse, many therapists tell us they themselves feel like a fraud! They feel out of their depth when the need for change is being so urgently demanded.
We have worked with thousands of couples. We’ve informally designed, practiced, and tested more experiments than a high school science class. We founded The Couples Institute to specialize in couples work. We created The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy – a model that is taught in over 52 countries around the world.
It took us 65+ years – and hundreds of failed experiments – to create solutions for cabin fever problems that can include couples’ wicked problems. And we want to share our expertise with you.
Now there is a solution that can address many of the problems your couples demand you fix in their cabin fever crisis: communication issues, fights about responsibilities, boundary violations, passive aggressive behavior, hostile fighting, and more.
This takes the pressure off you to deliver simple solutions to complex, multifaceted wicked problems. Even better, it helps take the pressure off your couples who are seeking immediate relief and can now appreciate the size of their challenges.