Dr. Ellyn Bader is Co-Founder & Director of The Couples Institute and creator of The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy. Ellyn is widely recognized as an expert in couples therapy, and since 2006 she has led innovative online training programs for therapists. Professionals from around the world connect with her through internet, conference calls and blog discussions to study couples therapy. Ellyn’s first book, "In Quest of the Mythical Mate," won the Clark Vincent Award by the California Association of Marriage & Family Therapists for its outstanding contribution to the field of marital therapy and is now in its 18th printing. She has been featured on over 50 radio and television programs including "The Today Show" and "CBS Early Morning News," and she has been quoted in many publications including "The New York Times," "The Oprah Magazine" and "Cosmopolitan."
When a couple comes to see you in the aftermath of infidelity, there are always tough decisions for each partner and also for you, their therapist. In today’s blog, I’ll focus on one type of difficult confrontation you may need to make early in therapy. Consider the situation where each partner has a different agenda. […]
A couple that’s been together for fifty-plus years with a history of alcoholism, violence, and codependency walks into your office… No, this isn’t the beginning of a joke. It’s a common scenario, but there are few therapists around the world that really know how to work well with couples like this. Unless the couple is […]
In a recent training session, an experienced therapist presented a case about working with a heterosexual married couple who were deeply enmeshed with one another. Both partners handled many aspects of their lives in a positive way, but their relationship was filled with misunderstandings, resentments, and distance. They lacked clear boundaries and healthy ways of […]
In spite of the challenges of putting on another covid era conference, we had a stellar faculty of 10 discussing a wide variety of dynamic topics. Speakers covered everything from anxiety to sexuality – with gender, race and power also in the mix! Participants were mostly online, with just a small group of about 30 […]
In a recent post, I explored the challenges of working with couples who are so reactive to one another that every session rapidly descends into rage, blame, or tears. It can be hard to come back from this level of emotional chaos, especially when loud voices or aggressive behaviors shake your own sense of balance […]
Couples are often uncertain what to expect from the process of couples therapy. They are not sure of what to expect of the therapist or even if the therapist has any expectations of them. I have found most couples approach therapy with the notion that each person will describe their distress and somehow the therapist […]
The Japanese sensei who developed Aikido described it as the art of tapping the energies found in any life situation as a means of finding innovative solutions. When I came across a YouTube video of Aikido master Richard Moon, I felt captivated by the smooth, almost effortless movements he used to redirect an opponent without […]
By Martha Kauppi, LMFT and AASECT-certified sex therapist Picture this: I’m a therapist newly in private practice, with a schedule filled with tough relational therapy cases, and not nearly enough tools to work with them effectively. On the plus side, I did have a lot of life experience, considerable professional expertise in sex and sexuality […]
Video: Helping couples see the best in each other It’s like watching a storm roll in. One moment, everything seems fine. Then the couple you’re working with hits a stressful point. Tensions rise. Voices, too. Or maybe a hostile silence falls over the room. Whatever the pattern, the result is the same. As the conversation […]
Leading the way when couples are lost in their own issues How often do you encounter couples who are so deeply entangled with each other that they can’t tell where one ends and the other begins? It’s a familiar struggle. They may come into your office bickering about what seem like petty conflicts, yet without […]
