FAQ
This month we thought we’d do something a little bit different. We thought we’d share some of the most commonly asked questions by couples we see for therapy. In this way we can cover a wide range of topics and give you a peek into other couples’ concerns. Q. What is the most common complaint […]
Challenging Couples, Challenging Therapists
For this month’s newsletter, I thought I’d do something different, and share highlights from a few of the sessions of a recent couples’ conference in Los Angeles. Each year The Couples Institute co-sponsors a couples’ conference with the Milton Erickson Foundation. This meeting is designed to bring together specialists who focus on different aspects of […]
Life Lessons from the Garden
“Everything that slows us down and forces patience, everything that sets us back into the slow circles of nature, is a help. Gardening is an instrument of grace.” – May Sarton Since it’s spring, we thought we’d use the metaphor of gardening to talk about nourishing your relationship and yourself. The garden teems with life […]
Interview with Dr. Ellyn Bader
by Richard Landis, Ph.D. This article was originally published in the Spring 2004 issue of The Milton H. Erickson Foundation Newsletter. Dr. Ellyn Bader is Co-Founder & Director of The Couples Institute in Menlo Park, CA. They are often considered to be among the leading experts in couples’ therapy training the world today. Dr. Bader […]
How to Talk More Successfully About Household Clutter
By Emphasizing 4 Quadrants of Effective Communication The most common presenting problem couples report is…. Communication. But what does that really mean? If you ask couples what they mean, the responses are typically disappointingly vague. Often they think just one new skill is needed. Some believe it is a skill like archery, as if with […]
Nurture Yourself and your Partner
Nurturing yourself and your partner is a crucial part of developing a satisfying relationship. Joe drags himself through the front door of his house after a long, difficult day. His last hope is, “Maybe, just maybe, Ann can take care of me tonight, and the kids can take care of themselves.” Seeing Ann leaning on […]
How To Get The Most From Couples Therapy
This document is designed to help you get the most benefit from our work together. The first three sections deal with how to prepare for and maximize the value of our sessions. The fourth section summarizes some brief concepts about relationships and productive couples therapy. Your job is to create your own individual objectives for […]
Vision Setting for Couples
Help Couples Prioritize Their Objectives and Have a Clear Plan The major purpose of the therapist defining your role clearly is to get yourself out of the position of changing the partner. It is also to encourage the couple to have a vision – a direction. The more the goals focus on the interplay between […]
Learning to Work With Conflict-Avoidant Couples
In this article we will explore some of the dynamics and relevant issues with the conflict-avoidant couple. These couples look deceptively easy when they first present for therapy. They are often friendly and kind, and there is no obvious tension. In fact, that is a primary source of the difficulty. There is no tension! Frequently, […]
Early Stages of Couples Therapy
Define Yourself Clearly to Your Clients Last month we started working on your own definition of what you offer to the couples in your practice. This month we will talk about what you expect from your clients and how you tell them. Clarity on your expectations is a process of self-definition. This means you bring […]
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