Confronting Negative Beliefs and Projections
In December, I set a daunting task for myself. I volunteered to do a clinical demonstration at the Brief Therapy conference. I have done many demos over the years, but the topic for this one was about confronting negative beliefs and unrelenting projections in couples relationships. Why is this so challenging in a role play […]
Show Love in Small, Essential Ways
I just returned from the Brief Therapy Conference in Anaheim. A lovely moment occurred after my clinical demonstration. A couple came up and introduced themselves to me, saying they had now been married for 60 years. They asked, “Would I like to know the secret?” What couples therapist could turn that down? I replied, “Of […]
Couples Therapy Continues to Gain in Stature
Couples therapy has come of age. When I first started teaching our Developmental Model of Couples Therapy, couples work was considered to be inferior to individual therapy. Many couples therapists were even embarrassed to admit they liked this work. I used to start my workshops by saying that I believed couples therapy was often more […]
Marketing and Integrity
Last month, Pete and Ellyn joined Casey Truffo to present a teleseminar called, “What Keeps Smart, Savvy Therapists from implementing good marketing ideas comfortably and effectively?” After the seminar, Pete wrote some follow up thoughts on marketing and integrity. We thought his analysis was relevant enough to share with you. Further reflections about marketing for […]
Feeling Better vs Getting Better
Let’s think about feeling better vs getting better. Do you focus on helping your clients feel better or get better? A huge problem with highly distressed partners is that we can’t give them what they want right away. What distressed partners really want when they come to therapy is to feel better. They understandably want […]
The Science-Art-Research Controversy and Your Practice
Many of you know that Pete and I have devoted our careers to continually searching for more effective ways to help couples develop loving relationships. We challenge partners to move beyond their ineffective coping strategies, to manage their emotional reactivity, and to pursue the dreams that brought them together. We also facilitate couples in navigating […]
Self-Reflection in Chronically Angry Couples
This month I’m writing about the chronically angry couple. These couples often wait too long to go to therapy or may have tried therapy with a therapist who did not provide enough structure for them. At the beginning, these couples need structure and they need for the therapist to be especially clear about the direction […]
Reflections on the Evolution of Psychotherapy Conference
I am writing this month’s newsletter as I fly home from The Evolution of Psychotherapy Conference in Anaheim. 8,000 therapists from 58 countries attended the meeting. It was rich with opportunities for learning, networking and especially for hearing many revered gurus present their work. Albert Ellis at 92 was still going strong and as crusty […]
Attachment Theory in Couples Therapy
For three weeks in November, I served as a faculty member of a wonderful on-line forum on Attachment Theory and Couples Therapy. We had an enlightening dialogue about both the research and clinical application of attachment theory concepts to couples therapy. In the process, I discovered the Couple Attachment Interview. I was introduced to it […]
Help! My Partner Must Be Passive Aggressive!
In our last newsletter I mentioned why a passive aggressive person is so hard to live with and the major cause of this frustrating behavior: they break agreements without warning and have quicker excuses than a four year old caught with a hand in the cookie jar. The passive aggressive person will break agreements and […]
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