More on Spinning in Circles with Entrenched Couples
A reader of my blog on Spinning in Circles with Entrenched Couples described a situation that’s a catch-22 of couples therapy: a partner who doesn’t
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First of Four-Part Series: Challenges of Hostile Angry Couples
I consult on so many cases where therapists are struggling to be effective leaders with hostile angry couples, I know it is a widespread problem.
Building a Foundation for Working with Highly Distressed Couples
When working with a couple that’s in deep distress, it can be a challenge to get each partner to look at his or her own
Working with Couples Where One Partner Has A Severe Anxiety Disorder
When you apply the Developmental Model in your work with couples, sometimes you will encounter issues that add an extra layer of complexity. Examples of
Peace at Any Price: The Conflict Avoidant Couple
When couples are in the symbiotic-symbiotic stage of their relationship, it’s often characterized by “peace at any price.” While minimizing differences and building a strong
A Dialogue for Individual Goal-Setting with Conflict-Avoidant Couples
When working with couples within The Developmental Model, it’s crucial to help partners set self-focused, individual goals to support the process of differentiation. This presents
A Successful Marriage is a Series of Unnatural Acts
I recently completed my 64th weekend workshop for couples. Once again I was impressed by a group of intrepid couples who were willing to leave
Creating Intrapsychic Change in Self-Absorbed Partners
In my previous blog, I started showing you the elegance of using Gestalt two-chair work to transform self-absorbed parts of your clients. With self-absorbed partners,
Ask Ellyn: 8 questions, 8 answers, 8 days!
You have probably had a couple who has stalled out. There is progress, then regression. This happens for many reasons: change requires time and developmental
Confronting Negative Beliefs and Projections
In December, I set a daunting task for myself. I volunteered to do a clinical demonstration at the Brief Therapy conference. I have done many
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