Do you ever wish you could know exactly what to say and when to say it with your toughest couples?
I’m going to show you.
Over the next 8 days, I will do something I have never done before.
I will illuminate exactly what to say and do, moment by moment, when your couples are stuck and you want to help them in a way that creates enduring change.
In this series, you’ll get interventions and interactions designed to disrupt the symbiotic structure of these relationships.
I call these interventions developmental assists.
They are designed to help your couples evolve!
Here are 6 Developmental Assists that will make a difference in your work.
- Developmental Assist #1: Sidestep negativity when couples bring up the fight of the week
- Developmental Assist #2: Protect and build on micro-connections
- Developmental Assist #3: Disrupt symbiosis and support self-definition
- Developmental Assist #4: Clearly encapsulate each partner’s individual issues
- Developmental Assist #5: Help partners stay in differentiation-based tension
- Developmental Assist #6: Support emotional risk-taking by using proactive empathy
It would be naive to think that any one of these assists alone will change a highly enmeshed couple. However, when you recognize the need for these interventions and start actively using them in familiar moments, they will form a foundation for real change.
This is the joy of being a couples therapist!
Ellyn Bader, Ph.D., and Peter Pearson, Ph.D. have been featured in:
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