Never again wonder what to do in a couples session
Train with pioneers of Couples Therapy and discover how the Developmental Model can advance your work
Our world-class couples therapy training is so effective that we’ll let you try it out risk-free for 30 days to prove that it will work for you.
Featured In:

BONUS #1
When you join before January 7, 2022 at 11:59pm Pacific Time, you will receive ONE free month of training!
BONUS #2
Stepping Stones to Intimacy – a helpful handout you can share with your clients. It reassures them and normalizes the challenges they face
BONUS #3
The Overview of the Developmental Model – your roadmap for couples therapy sessions
30 day risk-free trial.
Never again wonder what to do in a couples session
Train with the pioneers of Couples Therapy and discover how the Developmental Model gives you a roadmap to advance your work.
risk-free for 30 days to prove that it will work for you.
Featured In:

See for yourself how the Developmental Model can help you diagnose couples’ issues – including what they’re not telling you – and tailor your interventions to exactly what’s needed in the moment.
Wouldn’t it be nice to log on at any time and join a case consultation or watch a video roleplay that tells you exactly what to look for in situations where you feel stuck?
It took me years of hard work and informal research, and thousands of clinical hours, but I created a breakthrough model that can help you identify what stage of relationship the couple is in, look underneath to see exactly what’s wrong, and then give the kind of targeted intervention that couples actually need – not the one they say they want.
If couples are stuck in negative patterns, recurring fights, or “we can’t communicate,” this model shows you what to do, when to do it, and why you're doing it so you can become one of the most confident therapists you know...
I’ve taken the absolute best and most effective strategies from over 30 years of clinical experience and developed a breakthrough training program that removes the guesswork from Couples Therapy. The Developmental Model integrates the latest findings in neuroscience, attachment theory, and differentiation theory into one model you can learn at home, in the office, or even on the go.
- Goal-Setting for a Powerful Start
- Assessment From an Attachment Theory Perspective
- Assessment Tools to Diagnose the Couples Developmental Stage
- Understanding Differentiation
- Accessing the Emotional Brain For Rapid Change and Trauma Healing
- Recognizing the Three Types of Motivation
- Developing Empathy in Self-Absorbed or Narcissistic Partners
- Resolving Intrapsychic Impasses
- Navigating Clashing Goals And Values Collisions
- How to integrate individual sessions into your couples work
- How to manage confidentiality
- How to integrate couples therapy when one partner is in early recovery
- How to handle sexual desire discrepancy
- How to handle threats of violence or divorce

Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs
This high-touch, world-class program offers you…
A private, Members’ Only area with 24 in-depth written lessons, hundreds of hours of case consultations, client handouts, roleplays, a vibrant community of like-minded therapists, and more.
- The Hostile-Angry Couple
- The Conflict Avoidant Couple
- The Passive Aggressive Partner
- The Narcissistic Partner
- The Self-Absorbed Partner
- The Silently Disengaged Partner
- The Addicted Partner
- Lies, Betrayal, Affairs, and Infidelity
Here’s What You’re Going to Get:
Live Clinical Training Sessions
Monthly live clinical training sessions show you exactly how the Developmental Model can work with your actual cases, including theory and interventions. Go more in depth about passivity, narcissism, trauma, the Initiator-Inquirer, attachment and the Developmental Model, diagnosing stages and choosing interventions, getting off to a strong start, and much more.
Client Handouts
Client Handouts – including Setting Limits on Conflict, Couples Questionnaire for diagnosing each partner’s stage of development, Self-Assessment After a Fight, Fostering Empathy, and many more reinforce what you’re learning and help your couples progress faster.
Exclusive Video Demonstratio
Exclusive Video Demonstrations (including 2-chair Gestalt work, managing infidelity, confronting jealousy, and more) show you exactly how to implement what you’re learning.
Members’ Case Consultations
You’ll have a special area to post your own cases for ongoing consultation. You’ll get feedback from from me and your colleagues on specific challenging topics. These are just a few examples of past cases the group has worked on together: The No-Orgasm Secret, Narcissist Having an Affair, Are We Best to Separate?
36 CE hours
For most licenses in the United States, this course fulfills the CE requirementsfor a whole licensing period Click here to read course objectives and information before registering. Some international bodies also recognize these credits.
Access to guest experts
Access to guest experts like Janis Spring, Esther Perel, Stan Tatkin, and Dan Siegel. These bonus calls make this more like several courses for the price of one.
Written Lessons
You’ll get 24 written lessons, one delivered every other week, because I’ve found that gives you the right amount of time to process what you’ve learned, try things out in sessions, and keep up with the material. These lessons include Diagnosing Couples Stages, Fostering Empathy, Affairs and Infidelity, and more! Each downloadable lesson comes with an online interactive discussion section so you can get answers to your specific questions in 24 to 48 hours.
A Private, Therapists' Only Discussion Area
In the Private, Therapists' Only Discussion Area you can post cases and get feedback and ideas from peers. Past conversations include handling sexual desire discrepancy, how to integrate individual sessions into your couples work, what to say when you find out a partner has been lying to you, and more.
Members Directory
List yourself and your practice in our Members Directory. You can use the directory to find therapists around the world to refer to — as well as therapists who can refer to you. Your network of professionals and possible future friends just expanded!
A Supportive Community of Therapists
This Supportive Community of Therapists around the world is open 24/7 for you to get suggestions that could completely change the way you work with a tricky couple. And best of all, you will be supported and encouraged if there are days when you feel like giving up and quitting couples work.
This Program is a Magnum Opus Created by one of the
Leading Pioneers of Couples Therapy, Dr. Ellyn Bader

Ellyn has co-authored two books. The first one, In Quest of the Mythical Mate, was awarded the Clark Vincent Award by the California Association of Marriage & Family Therapists for its outstanding contribution to the field of marital therapy and has been reprinted more than 20 times. She has been featured on over 70 radio and television programs including The Today Show and CBS Early Morning News, and she has been quoted in The New York Times, The Oprah Magazine, Cosmopolitan and many more.
Since 2006, Ellyn has led innovative couples therapy training programs online. Professionals from around the world connect with her online on conference calls, and forums to study couples therapy. Therapists from more than 68 countries have taken her online training course.
Developmental Model Training Is Currenty Full. Get on the Waiting List. We’ll notify you when we open the training.

Janet Congo, MFT, Coto de Caza, CA
Yinlayefa Adeleke, Principal Counselor, Lagos, Ajah, Nigeria


Nathan Hardy, PhD, LMFT, Stillwater, OK
Shobha Ranganath, Holistic IFS Couples Coach, Empowered Wellbeing IFS Coaching, Berkeley, CA

Common Questions About Our Training
Most healthcare professionals can earn 36 hours of Continuing Education credit by completing this course. Please read the course objectives, accreditation, and other information before registering.
Yes! The integration of attachment theory, differentiation theory, and neuroscience has proven to be compatible with therapists I have trained throughout the United States, Europe, Asia, Australia, and South America. Our training receives consistent and enthusiastic feedback that it enhances and supports other approaches of working with couples.
Likely not. Over the years, the therapists who have gone through my training typically include novices through seasoned therapists. The feedback we get is that therapists on all levels appreciate the understandable ways our strategies and interventions can be immediately applied to their own practice.
If you work mainly with individuals, you will learn a lot that will influence how you approach your individual clients who are depressed, angry, or stuck due to their relationship problems. There is a special training section to show you how to apply the Developmental Model to individual clients and their relationship issues.
Not unless you have done extensive training with me in the Developmental Model already. The consistent feedback I get, even from therapists who have been in long-term practice, is how valuable these concepts are along with the opportunity to get feedback as you integrate them with your actual clients.
The training can benefit a wide variety of professionals who work with individuals in relationships or with couples. Past participants have included Psychologists, Clinical Social Workers, Marriage and Family Therapists, Marriage Counselors, Clergy, Mental Health Counselors, Relationship Coaches, and more.
Most therapists – myself included – feel some anxiety about using technology. I’ve worked hard to be sure that our materials are very user-friendly. And our office staff is patient with beginners. So don’t let it scare you; jump right in!
You can ask questions throughout the training program. We stay on the monthly phone calls to answer all the questions you have, and my team also monitors the questions asked on the blog around the clock.
With many online courses there is no interaction with the instructor. You can’t ask questions about a specific case you’re working with. You can’t get elaborations on especially relevant interventions. There is no way to ask, “Now what?”
Our training is different. We look forward to talking with you and answering your questions about clients you’re working with and interventions that we’ve seen successful. Therapists who have gone through our program also share they enjoy the support they receive from peers in our online community.
At a workshop or conference, you generally will not get your specific questions answered completely. It isn’t the environment where you can continue to ask deeper and deeper questions until they are answered. You can’t, generally, have conversations with the presenter as they have too much material to cover and too many people who want their attention. You cannot even call the instructor after the workshop and say, “Wow, what you taught was really great, now how can I apply the interventions to my particular case?” A workshop is not designed to be comprehensive.
However, our program is designed to be comprehensive. This is what makes us so different. Our training includes all of this and much more!
In our experience, you will need this time to implement, experiment, and learn how to apply the interventions and strategies with confidence.
As I mentioned before, skillful couples therapy is not mastered in the occasional workshop or reading good books and articles. This prolonged format gives you the big picture and then time to apply specific strategies to specific situations. As your confidence grows, you will need different feedback. A longer training program allows you to get support through your evolution. Most participants spend about 4 hours each month to read and digest the material and calls.
The truth is you need two things to be successful – not just with couples, but also in almost any area of your life. The first is knowledge of how to achieve the success. The second is the dedication to acquire and apply that knowledge.
Agency discounts are available for 3 or more people. Please call 1-877-327-5915 or contact us for more information.
You will get access to the training website usually within 5 minutes. You will have immediate access to:
- Your first written lesson (subsequent lessons will appear every 14 days after that)
- A past orientation call
- Recordings of all of the clinical training and bonus calls
- Handouts
However, we suggest you begin with the Getting Started section and follow the recommendations there. There is also a live orientation call on October 17, 2022 from 9am-10am Pacific Time.
The integration of attachment theory, differentiation theory, and neuroscience has proven to be compatible with approaches used by therapists who trained throughout the United States and in more than 66 countries worldwide.
Our training receives consistent and enthusiastic feedback that it enhances and supports other approaches of working with couples. You can watch what two training graduate says about integrating The Developmental Model with other models here: Nancy and Jeremiah.
This model is compatible with Gottman, RLT, Imago, PACT, IFS, and more. In surveying existing members, 95% of therapists say it’s easy to integrate with what they already know.
Likely not. Over the years, the therapists who have gone through the training program typically include novices through seasoned therapists. The feedback we get is that therapists on all levels appreciate the understandable ways our strategies and interventions can be immediately applied to their own practice.
If you work mainly with individuals, you will learn a lot that will influence how you approach your individual clients who are depressed, angry, or stuck due to their relationship problems. There is a special training section to show you how to apply the Developmental Model to individual clients and their relationship issues. 95% of our members say it also helps them with individual couples.
You can watch how two therapists started working with only individuals here: Janae and Sue.
Not unless you have done extensive training with Ellyn in the Developmental Model already.
The consistent feedback we get, even from therapists who have been in long-term practice, is how valuable these concepts are along with the opportunity to get feedback as you integrate them with your actual clients. 96% of our therapists said it gave them a roadmap for couples work.
You can watch what experience therapists had to say here: Glen and Lori.
4-6 hours per month is generally ideal to go through the written lessons you receive every two weeks and join one live 90-minute clinical call per month (or catch the replay).
Of course you have a wealth of resources at your fingertips if you’re looking for past calls on specific topics or want some advice on a case you are struggling with.
Live 90-minute training calls usually happen on Mondays or Fridays between 9 am to 1 pm Pacific. That is in response to surveys we take regularly to find out members' preferred days and times.
We survey all members whenever new groups begin. All calls are recorded so even if you miss the live calls, you will have access to video & audio recordings.
We've also added a Thursday 5pm Pacific call once per week that works well for people in Australia and New Zealand.
Here are the upcoming live calls for September - October:
October 17, 9am-10am Pacific - Orientation Call (Recommended)
October 17, 10am - 11am Pacific - Clinical Call (Recommended)
October 18, 9am - 9:45am Pacific - Tech Talks with Tauseef (Optional)
October 28, 9am - 10:30am Pacific - Special Training Call: The Paper Exercise (Optional)
November 7, 12pm - 1:30pm Pacific - Clinical Call (Recommended)
November 18, 9am-10:30am Pacific - Bonus Call with Pete Pearson (Optional)
The program begins when you sign up. You will receive a welcome email, an email about your first lesson, and one with your login credentials.
When you first log in, you'll find Lesson 1 waiting for you. The other lessons will follow, one every two weeks.
We typically open the program only once or twice per year, usually late January or early February, and September or October.
Occasionally we will open training to the waiting list. You can get on the wait list here.
Our Iron Clad Guarantee promises 100% satisfaction or your money back. Give us thirty days to prove it to you. If we don’t, we’ll give you a full refund so you have nothing to lose – zero risk.
Check Out What Other Therapists Are Saying...

Ann Veilleux, MSW, LCSW, Madison, WI
Shannon Seeley, LCSW, Soquel, CA


Vickie Vann, LCSW, San Francisco, CA
Jeremiah Gibson, LMFT, Quincy, MA


Meg Luce, LMFT, Grass Valley, CA
Jules Comeault, MA, Gatineau, QC


Elany Mueller, LMFT, Pasadena, CA
“The Developmental Model provided a roadmap to understanding my couples and their relationships in a very different way. This facilitated much more directed and effective interventions on my part. It was exciting to see that, more and more in my work, each person was onboard to take on more accountability for their role in the relationship impasse.
Interestingly, I believe that this has also been an important year for my own growth. I find myself showing up differently in my relationships, and love practicing more of what I preach!”
Linda Lipshutz, MS LCSW ACSW, Palm Beach Gardens, FL

What You Receive In The Developmental Model Training Program
Value Per
Item
Total
Value
12 Live Training Sessions & 8 Special Training Sessions
$350
$7,000
100 Plus Archived Clinical Training Calls and 39 Special Training Sessions with Dr. Ellyn Bader
$89
$12,371
8 Live Bonus Training Calls (Including 100 Plus Archived Bonus Calls with Guest Experts like Dan Siegel, Esther Perel and others!)
$79
$8,532
8 Videos of Real Client Sessions by Dr. Ellyn Bader and Dr. Peter Pearson
$75
$600
32 Client Handouts to Support Your In- Session Work
$30
$960
Being part of a Supportive Therapist Community
-
Priceless!
Investing in your Professional and Personal Growth
-
Even More Priceless!
Total Value of the Program
-
$29,463
Total cost of The Developmental Model Training Program with Dr. Ellyn Bader
$189/month OR one payment of $1,997.

Iron Clad Guarantee:
- Have a clear, non-pathological way to describe to your couples why they are stuck
- Feel more confident in your ability to conduct first sessions
- Have diagnostic and assessment tools ready to use
- Look forward to Monthly Training Calls
- Find value in the Development Model of Couples Therapy
- Become comfortable knowing how to take charge in your sessions
- See clients respond better, make more progress, return with enthusiasm
- Imagine getting referrals for more couples
Developmental Model Trainees in 68 Countries Worldwide

“My only regret is that I had not signed on sooner. I look back on a few couples I have seen over the years and wonder how different the outcome might have been if I'd known then what I know now.”
Helene Beddingfield, LMFT, Fair Oaks, CA
Lori Collins, MFT, Redwood City, CA


Claudine Hull, Registered Integrative Counsellor, BACP, East Sussex, UK
“This training was well worth the time, energy and expense. Every lesson opened up my clinical insights and skills. I have been in practice nearly 40 years and still devoured the materials like a young and eager college student.
Madge Flynn, LCSW, PhD, Fayetteville, NY


“My experience with the program has been excellent. I have a very busy schedule and the program is always available to me when I am ready. I have acquired new skills and insight into couples therapy. I certainly notice the difference!!!”
Maria Hernandez Cuevas, MFT, Miami, FL
Debi Jones, Professional Couples Coach, Kwa Zulu Natal, South Africa

