Change Over Time: One Couple's Journey from Pain and Avoidance to Finding Love and Hope Again

7-Part

Series

This series unlocks a hidden world, bringing you into the visceral experience of therapy over 8 months with an intimacy and intensity avoidant couple.
World-class couples therapist Dr. Ellyn Bader deftly advises, role plays, and consults with the therapist who bravely puts her work on display so you can see the progression of treatment over time.
Watch the replays as this couple is guided through the minefield of honest confrontation with each other and themselves, revealing struggles of intimacy, and ultimately a breakthrough to discover love and hope again.

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CHANGE OVER TIME: One Couple's Journey From Pain and Avoidance to Finding Love and Hope Again

1

Episode 1: Stuck in Vagueness and Passivity

How Vagueness and Passivity Undermine Intimate Connection

[Friday, April 25] 16-minute Video

Meet Liza and Jess. They don’t scream, they don’t fight – they vanish. Watch as their therapist learns to ignite energy and involvement in the disengaged. If you've ever felt stuck with a couple that's “fine,” this episode is for you.

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2

Episode 2: Stuck in Vagueness and Passivity
(Live Webinar with Dr. Ellyn Bader)

Turning Intense Reactivity into Emotional Risk and Individual Accountability

[Monday, April 28, 9-10:30am Pacific]

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When Jess and Liza move to a new house, they attempt the impossible: to stop their old patterns and start new. In this patient, careful session, you will see how to gently confront avoidance, reframe self-protection, and guide clients to take emotional risks so subtle they're almost invisible – and absolutely life-changing.

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3

Episode 3:Overcoming Boredom and Exhaustion

Creating Connection when Partners are Flat and Disengaged

[Tuesday, April 29] 17-minute Video

Jess finally says what she wants. And the world doesn’t end. In fact, something begins. In this episode, you’ll see how to disrupt passivity without pushing too hard – and learn how to create targeted experiential moments that challenge a couple's old, enmeshed dynamic without shaming it.

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4

Episode 4: Overcoming Boredom and Exhaustion

Opening a Squashed Identity that Isn't Expressed or Received

[Wednesday, April 30] 24-minute Video

Liza thought she was protecting herself by going silent. But all she did was disappear. See how to work with identity loss, and how to help a partner take meaningful emotional risks while the other watches – laying the groundwork for healing on both sides.

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5

Episode 5: Overcoming Boredom and Exhaustion

Using Anxiety for Growth and to Amplify Connection

[Thursday, May 1] 14-minute Video

Jess & Liza spent years disappearing from one another. But today, they sit in the discomfort – and that’s the breakthrough. Watch how staying with what’s real, no matter how small, can be monumental. You'll see how to help clients tolerate presence after years of avoidance. This is how intimacy begins, not with passion, but with staying put.

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6

Episode 6: Returning to Love and Hope
(Live Webinar w/Dr. Ellyn Bader)

Supporting Emerging Connection and Intimacy

[Friday, May 2, 11am-12:30pm Pacific]

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Jess makes a playlist – sweet, awkward, and overflowing with feeling. Liza doesn’t notice. But in the tender unraveling that follows, you will see how to spot subtle vulnerability and why real progress often looks like regression. Watch how to support delicate self-disclosure, help clients name their internal experience, and deepen connection even in the aftermath of a miss.

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7

Episode 7: The Anatomy of Progress
(Live Webinar with Dr. Ellyn Bader)

Multiple Breakthroughs for the client and therapist (+Q&A)

[Sunday, May 4, 2-3pm Pacific]

At first, Jess and Liza couldn’t reach each other – and their therapist wasn’t sure how to reach them either. Now they are finding a connection with more honesty and courage than ever before. You’ll hear from the therapist who helped guide that shift and how Ellyn’s ongoing mentorship transformed her confidence, her presence, and her clinical precision.You’ll witness the turning points, the techniques, and the emotional courage it took on all sides. This is the anatomy of lasting change – for the couple and the therapist.

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Here's what other therapists are saying about
the developmental model training program

Not only was Nancy hooked from day one on the training and lessons, she also appreciates how Ellyn respects other models of couples therapy and how they can be woven into the Developmental Model.
Nancy St John
Couples Counsellor
Ireland
Other Models, Community,
Clinical Improvement
Martha used to become confused in sessions because sexual issues are so complex and difficult for clients to discuss, but now she can hold the focus on one thing at a time and really make a difference for them.
Martha Kauppi, LMFT, ACST Madison, WI
Challenging Couples, Community, Clinical Improvement
Sue was an individual therapist. But after she got the tools she needed and learned how to be an effective leader, she now specializes in working with couples – and really tough couples!
Sue Diamond, MA, RCC Vancouver, BC
Confidence, New to Couples, Individuals, Tools/Framework, Challenging Couples
When Janae first started training, her work was primarily with individuals. Now she is able to work at a new level with individuals and see more couples, too. She’s learned a whole new language she can use with all of her clients.
Janae Munday, LCSW Phoenix, AZ
Individuals, Tools/Framework, Clinical Improvement
Glen is an experienced therapist and the President of Well Marriage Center in Fairfax. When Glen learned about the Developmental Model he signed up for the training program and soon realized that he wanted all of his associates to take the training. As a result Glen has noticed improvements for clients, and also richer exchanges in staff meetings.
Glen Denlinger, LCSW, BCD President & Clinical Director of Well Marriage Center. Fairfax, VA
New Therapists, Experienced Therapists, Training, Associates, Confidence
Before the Developmental Model training, Nicole used to get stuck with hostile-angry and passive couples, often wondering, “What the hell just happened?”Now she feels clarity. With the framework that’s been provided, she knows what is happening and what to do.
Nicole Van Ness, PsyD, LMFT-S Grapevine, TX
Hostile-Angry, Passivity, Clinical Improvement
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Watch More of What the Developmental Program Includes

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MORE VIDEO TESTIMONIALS

Tammy joined training as a relatively new therapist and it has made a big difference in her personal life as well as her professional life. She values the community, has increased her confidence in working with couples, and is now having to decide what to do with more clients than she can see.
Tammy Van Hinte, MA, RCC Victoria BC
Community, Personal, New Therapist, Full Practice
Tom says the Developmental Model translates well for working with queer couples because it’s really about how to be an individual inside a relationship, whatever the relationship structure looks like. And he especially appreciates the supportive community.
Tom Bruett, MS, LMFT Denver, CO
Diversity, Community, Clinical Improvement
Lori is a seasoned therapist who has been using the Developmental Model for several years. With a successful practice and a long waiting list, Lori felt bad turning away so many couples who called in crisis.It was in the Couples Institute mentoring program that she became inspired to think about how she could specialize in couples intensives, and now that’s a major part of her practice.
Lori Weisman, MA, LMHC Bellevue, WA
Couples Intensives, Tools/Framework, Challenging Couples
Jeremiah had an EFT background in working with couples, and now he’s moving out of that. The Developmental Model training has made a big difference in how he works with couples, even though he’s been in the training for a year. He’s seeing big changes that he’s able to make using the Developmental Model. Some of his clients have expressed appreciation for his work, and getting that feedback has been thrilling.
Jeremiah Gibson, LMFT, CST Quincy, MA
EFT Model, Other Models, Clinical Improvement
Nancy and Lori recount many ways they’ve grown personally and how their relationships have improved since being part of the training. Lori says, “It’s a model that helps us do our own personal work.” Nancy agrees, “It’s profoundly life-changing and enhancing on a relationship level.” And she adds, “It’s the most positive environment you can be in.”
Nancy St. John, MIACP, Couples Counsellor, Ireland
Personal Growth, Community, Clinical Improvement
Alexa was very grateful she took the training and learned the material when she did, but it wasn’t until she started working with it that something shifted inside and she really saw what differentiation was, how it functioned, and how it strengthened relationships. She’s had especially complex cases during the pandemic, and she couldn’t have done the work as well without the training. “I am forever grateful for what you and Pete put into this.”
Alexa Elkington, MFT Las Vegas, NV
Remote Work, Complicated Cases, Clinical Improvement
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Here are the Zoom Details to Join the Calls Live:

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/84267290614

One tap mobile :

US: +16465588656,,84267290614# or +16469313860,,84267290614#

Telephone (US):

+1 301 715 8592
+1 312 626 6799
+1 346 248 7799
+1 646 558 8656
+1 669 900 6833
+1 253 215 8782
Webinar ID: 842 6729 0614

International numbers available

https://us02web.zoom.us/u/keicXD8t7Q

We will send out an email reminder on the day of each webinar.
There will be replays available usually within 24 hours of the live webinars.