• Overview of Developmental Model
    Dec 28 - Video
  • Stepping Stones to Intimacy

    Jan 1 - Article

  • Initial Interview in CouplesTherapy

    Jan 3 - Video

  • Effective Sessions with Hostile Couples

    Jan 8 - Article

  • Create Change with Conflict Avoidant Couples

    Jan 10 - Article

  • Differentiation vs Inividuation

    Jan 13 - Video

  • Three Reasons Therapy Stalls

    Jan 19 - Article

  • Developmental Model Webinar

    Jan 22 - Webinar

Part 1 of 8: Overview of the Developmental Model

Coming up next on Jan 1: A PDF Article explaining the Developmental Stages for you to share with your clients.

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Do you recognize any of your clients in this description of the stages? Please comment below.

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Joan Wolkin
Joan Wolkin
27 days ago

Very helpful Ellyn. Aa a couples therapist I’m rooted in EFT, with grounding in attachment and developmental theories as well as in Gottman research and the neuropsycogical perspectives of Porges and Tatkin. Your perspective adds another piece that I haven’t studied previously – the normal and healthy differentiation of partners and how when partners are at different stages of individuation, conflict can occur. I look forward to learning more about your model and techniques of helping couples navigate these stages more successfully. Thank you for your generosity in putting this online.

Ellyn Bader
Ellyn Bader
27 days ago

Joan-Thanks for your participation! With all your grounding, I hope you will find lots more to help you here.

janet saxe
janet saxe
27 days ago

Good stuff! Likewise, my training is in other models and I am very curious to learn more about the Developmental Model both professionally and personally.

Alix
Alix
26 days ago

I very much see my northern remote couples stuck in arrested stages of development. Their reasons/roadblocks vary and cause great conflict in their growth in maturing as a healthy couple(s). One strength they all have though, is when the dust settles, when they calm, their commitment to try again, often with a little bit more understanding and compassion for the other occurs. Thank you Ellen for today's video and for putting it online for us.

Lorraine Woods
Lorraine Woods
26 days ago

THankyou Ellyn for putting this on line and therefore making it accessible in my time zone. Im very excited about the developmental model and see the value of using this for the initial assessment and planned intervention for my couples. I use a number of modalities with my couples however with this I see the possibility of backing up intuitive decisions and interventions.

Lilian
Lilian
25 days ago

I love the idea that you are not looking for pathology. This fits my pro-commitment and pro-choice stance and looking for and building strengths. I like the target of developing self-capacities, especially when people are traumatised. I deal with a lot of infidelity, sexual addictions and trauma. I am trained in The Gottman couple approach but I have always resonated with your model. Thanks for this mini course. I do hope at some point to do the full course, if timezones permit. I am in Asia

M
M
25 days ago

I’m working with a couple who have extreme opposite needs regarding their attachment styles. The husband wants compete differentiation and independence. He doesn’t want to have to communicate his feelings or have a lot of emotional connection. The wife is the polar opposite, she craves connection, intimacy, affirmation and approval and the more she seeks this from her partner the more avoidant he becomes. I’ve tried for months to help them bridge this divide with little progress. Do you have suggestions for them?

Celia
Celia
25 days ago
Reply to  M

It sounds great Ellyn. I enjoyed your visualization to begin with. I feel quite confident and strong as a couples practitioner in terms of my courage to intervene, my ability to handle conflict etc – but when it comes to my own relationship I see that it is perhaps the ‘coming-back-together' stage – following differentiation – which is the developmental stage I'm stuck at. Learning how to love better, is probably my current challenge….. and perhaps this is where I can develop more as a practitioner too. Interestingly – identifying one anothers' strengths – is something I probably don't encourage my couples to do enough of.

Debi Jones
Debi Jones
24 days ago
Reply to  Celia

I am inexpressibly APPRECIATIVE for the GENEROSITY of your KINDNESS in sharing your wisdom and insight with us Ellyn.

The satisfaction that comes from applying this newfound knowledge in helping the couples I journey with better understand themselves is entirely lifegiving.!

THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH!!!

Ellyn Bader
Ellyn Bader
25 days ago

M-Your couple represents a common misunderstanding that I see. He actually wants independence without differentiation. Be sure to watch for my upcoming video explaining the difference. Without understanding that distinction, he can easily take a 1-up position and absolve himself of the work.

Joyce Guenther
Joyce Guenther
23 days ago

Thank you Ellen!
“Chronic triggering of unresolved issues” from family of origin is my thing that I love to look for! Your work is perfect for that! Always enjoy looking deeper with you.

Paula Eagles
Paula Eagles
19 days ago

Thank you for your generosity, Ellen!. While I do not currently work with couples, I can see how your developmental model is easily applied with individuals (inseparable from relational dynamics). I am inspired to start reframing some of my trauma-focused work within this expanded model. Looking forward to the rest of the series.

Judith
Judith
19 days ago

I have been very interested in learning more about your Developmental Model and I already recognized my couples in this initial overview. It makes me excited to see the rest of this training.

Amira
4 days ago

Yea this is very very useful

  • Overview of Developmental Model
    Dec 28 - Video
  • Stepping Stones to Intimacy

    Jan 1 - Article

  • Initial Interview in CouplesTherapy

    Jan 3 - Video

  • Effective Sessions with Hostile Couples

    Jan 8 - Article

  • Create Change with Conflict Avoidant Couples

    Jan 10 - Article

  • Differentiation vs Inividuation

    Jan 13 - Video

  • Three Reasons Therapy Stalls

    Jan 19 - Article

  • Developmental Model Webinar

    Jan 22 - Webinar