Being a couples therapist is easy. It’s like riding a bike. Except the bike is on fire. You’re on fire. Everything is on fire.
You’ve got one partner leaning in like “PLEASE FIX US.”
The other sitting back with eyes rolled and arms crossed, daring you to try.
You can’t afford to terminate every couple like this. But you can’t afford to burn out, either.
You just want it to feel like they’re improving. Like you’re succeeding.
Instead, you’re running on instinct, hoping no one notices that there’s no progress. You’re exhausted from overfunctioning. Progress melts between sessions. Couples cancel. Or they keep rehashing The Fight About The Dishes That Isn’t Really About Dishes.
It’s not you.
It’s that you’re missing a crucial piece of the puzzle – a comprehensive model that provides a plan for every move.
Most therapists were taught to validate, reflect, and empathize with clients. Not assess, define, and use the context to lead their clients.
Which means you’ve been trying to do your job without a plan.
The Introduction to the Developmental Model gives you a structure. A real one. With a roadmap, diagnostic tools, and actual examples of what leadership looks like in sessions.
You’ll stop reacting to whatever your clients throw at you that week and you’ll start leading actual change.
Change that sticks between sessions.
Change that keeps couples coming back – and gets them referring others.
This is how you stop running on intuition and fumes and start steering that bike (a bike that, by the way, is no longer on fire, because you have a plan).
Imagine being able to…
- Walk into session knowing exactly where to focus (and what’s okay to ignore!)
- Diagnose stuckness without pathologizing
- Lead sessions with clarity instead of overfunctioning
- Watch your couples resolve recurring fights – and know you got them there
- Feel competent, proud, and re-energized by work you thought you might give up on
The 4 modules of The Developmental ModelTM: Getting Started with Couples Therapy and Relationship Change
Stop reacting, start seeing clearly
- The 5 developmental stages relationships move through
- How to identify where your couple is stuck (hint: it’s not “communication”)
- How to name the stage in session so your clients say, “that’s us!”
- Examples, roleplays, and a how-to guide for a first session that makes couples say, “I’m really glad we gave this a shot"
- 6 handouts that succinctly describe your couple’s stage, show you where to focus, and stoke motivation for the journey ahead.
- Advantage: This helps you do the job of assessing relationships in a way that creates traction fast.
The diagnostic questionnaire that shows you where to go
- 21 questions to assess each partner’s perception of their issues, where each partner’s development is breaking down, and what stage the relationship is in
- How to use the results to shape your treatment plan from day one
- Language to introduce the tool so it builds trust, not confusion
- A diagnostic questionnaire for individuals. This helps you identify a client’s contribution to the challenges they complain about, and “unfogs” the mirror so you know where to focus your work to be effective.
- Advantage: This lets you stop guessing and start building, without falling into the “fix-the-content” trap.
A first session that leads to concrete change
- See how to set the tone before couples even walk in the door. You’ll see examples of how to stop couples from rehearsing a monologue of grievances, and make pre-session contact that shifts the direction of therapy before it even starts.
- 3 essential questions that flip the focus from blame to self-reflection.
- See examples of how to name what’s under the anger (grief, fear, longing) without getting swallowed by intensity.
- Establish your role as a leader, not a referee. Learn the language that positions you as therapist, coach, and educator so your clients know what to expect, what you’ll do, and what’s expected of them.
- Discover the counterintuitive 4-session sequence that sets a solid foundation.
- Use the 7-point framework for an effective first session so you never have to guess.
- Advantage: This lets you begin treatment with strength, calm, and clear direction – so your clients follow your lead.
Leading with self-focused, autonomous goals
- Watch some examples of explaining the purpose of autonomous goals and how they set the stage for long-term growth.
- Use pre-goal questions that soften reactivity and invite reflection.
- Learn to respond skillfully to blank stares, blame, or "I don't know".
- Get the 1 key question that interrupts the partner-fixation spiral.
- Know what makes a goal developmental: self-focused, observable, and connected to values.
- Shift couples from reactivity to intention without triggering defensiveness.
- Advantage: This lets you build real traction by helping each partner step out of reactivity and take responsibility for who they want to become.
One Payment of $197
- 12 PDF Handouts for Clients
- Lifetime Access to the Material
- 2 Live Practice and Q&A Calls
- Questions answered until 11/23/25
2-Payments of $99/mo
- 12 PDF Handouts for Clients
- Lifetime Access to the Material
- 2 Live Practice and Q&A Calls
- Questions answered until 11/23/25
2nd payment will be charged in 30 days.
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You might be thinking, “I already know parts of this.” Or, “But every couple is so different… will this really work?”
Here’s what we’ve seen: the therapists who get the most out of this course aren’t the ones looking for another technique. They’re the ones ready to re-orient their work around a framework that actually fits what’s happening
in the room. You’ll still bring your intuition, your training, your insight. This just gives it structure.
She’s trained over 30,000 therapists worldwide, served on the Clinical Faculty at Stanford University for 7 years and led trainings at top clinical institutions. For four decades, Ellyn’s work has focused on how therapists can lead couples through intense conflict, developmental stuck points, and deep transformation without burning out.
This course distills her most important foundational tools so you can start strong
and lead clearly from session one.
You Get It All: Tools, Practice, and Transformation
9.5 hours of on-demand training
Lifetime access
12 printable handouts for use in session
3 videos to share with clients
Roleplays, demonstrations, and video examples of concrete language and first-session walkthroughs, and how to introduce these concepts to couples
Many courses give you videos and theories, expecting you to have the courage to integrate them into your sessions. And to do it well, right off the bat! But when you're under pressure with real clients, theory often falls short. And as ancient poet Archilochus said, “We don’t rise to the level of our expectations, we fall to the level of our training.”
That’s why we’ve included something we normally only offer inside our year-long Developmental Model program: 2 LIVE practice sessions with coaching.
You’ll watch one of our trainers model how to introduce what you’re learning. Then you’ll step into roleplay – not to be perfect, but to practice the muscle of leadership. You’ll get real-time feedback. And you’ll feel that shift when something finally clicks in your body, not just your brain.
Because what you practice in these sessions is not just “how to say it.”
It’s how to establish your role.
How to set the tone.
How to redirect the finger-pointing and fight-rehashing.
There is almost no greater skill you can develop than this: helping your clients set self-focused goals and holding them to those goals.
This is the kind of leadership that motivates clients to do the work – and keeps them in the work. And it starts here.
Upcoming Guided Practice Calls
1. How to Talk About the Developmental Stages to your Couples (October 27, 9-10am Pacific + replay)
You’ll see how to introduce the 5 developmental stages relationships move through, how to describe where your couple is stuck, and create motivation for growth.
2. Using the Couples Questionnaire (November 7, 12-1pm Pacific + replay)
A diagnostic process that shows you where each partner’s growth edge is so you know exactly where to focus first. You’ll learn how to introduce the tool, interpret results, and design a treatment plan that builds trust and traction from day one.
Frequently Asked Questions
What if I primarily work with individuals or families?
If you currently work mainly with individuals, you will learn a lot that will influence how you approach your individual clients who are depressed, angry, or stuck due to their relationship issues. You'll gain confidence to begin working with couples, and you'll discover how the same principles apply to family systems.
And as a bonus, many of our trainees also report that the work transforms their own relationships - an added bonus that makes the learning even more meaningful.
What if I’ve been doing this for a long time?
What if I don’t have time for a big course?
You get lifetime access. Binge it in a weekend, or take it slow. Either way, you’ll get tools you can use the very next session.
Will this help me get more clients?
We can’t guarantee how many new clients you’ll get. But in our decades of experience, we’ve learned that when you can lead couples through their pain and to the change they want, they stay. They refer their friends. And being confident in your work makes it a whole lot easier to market it.
How is this different from the other couples therapy trainings I’ve taken?
Most trainings give you theory and techniques. This one gives you structure.
Not just “what to say” – but how to think. How to assess. How to orient yourself and your clients so the work becomes directional, not cyclical.
This isn’t another buffet of interventions. It’s a clear sequence. A map. With decision points, real examples, and a framework that lets you stop improvising and start leading.
This course shows you the foundation of the full Developmental Model – the same framework we teach in our year-long professional training. Same roadmap. Same emphasis on leadership, differentiation, and direction. Just distilled.
If you’ve ever wished you could try out the Developmental Model before diving in, this is the place to start.
Will this really help with the complex couples I see?
Let’s be blunt: frameworks aren’t magic. They don’t fix chaos. You do.
But without one, even the best therapist is flying blind. This model works because it clarifies the chaos. It shows you:
- what developmental stage your couple is in
- what goals will move them forward
- how to shift blame into self-responsibility
No guesswork. No dancing around pathology. Just a repeatable way to lead couples into real change.
What if I’m not a developmental therapist?
You don’t need to be.
You just need to want a better way to work with conflict, disconnection, and avoidance – without losing yourself in the process.
This course works whether you’re psychodynamic, EFT-informed, or trained in IFS, PACT, Gottman, or others.
Why? Because it doesn’t replace your clinical wisdom. It organizes it. Gives it a direction. So instead of reacting to symptoms, you lead toward growth.
Is there a live component?
Yes – and it’s what makes this course different.
You won’t just watch demonstrations. You’ll practice them. In two live sessions, you’ll roleplay, and get coached on what you’re learning so you can try everything out before you ever say it to a couple for the first time.
This is the same experiential learning format we use in our full Developmental Model training – designed to help you turn knowledge into embodied confidence.
The 2 live calls are October 27, 9-10am Pacific and Friday, November 7, 12-1pm Pacific. You'll also have training assistants Lauren Ostrowski and Janae Munday answering your questions until November 23, 2025.
If you aren't structuring sessions around stages and goals, you’re probably spinning out of control.
…Especially with couples where there is trauma. Those couples derail. They pull you into the blame, the pain, the swirl of unmet needs and reactive explosions. If you don't hold the course, they won't. They couldn’t even if they tried.
Let’s be clear about one thing: the importance of your leadership role cannot be overemphasized. From the very beginning, if you lead with an orientation to self-focused, autonomous goals, you explain why, and you teach the difference between reactive change and intentional growth, you will be a cut above any therapist they have ever seen.
Whether you binge watch the course or take it in bite sized pieces, you’ll learn how to:
- Redirect chaos toward clarity by naming a goal that belongs to each partner, not the relationship
- Explain the purpose of autonomous goals and how they set the stage for long-term growth
- Use goal planning questions that soften reactivity and invite reflection
- Respond skillfully to blank stares, blame, or "I don't know"
- Ask one key question that interrupts the partner-fixation spiral
- Scaffold fragile moments when a client feels shame, collapse, or resistance
- Define what makes a goal developmental: self-focused, observable, onnected to values
- Shift from reactivity to intention without triggering defensiveness
- Link behavior change to meaning and identity, not just behavior management
- Use impact questions to deepen ownership and internal accountability
This lets you build real traction in therapy by helping each partner step out of reactivity and take responsibility for who they want to become.
You can take this course for under $200. That’s less than what you lose when one couple bails after two sessions because therapy “wasn’t helping.”
One retained couple covers your cost. One couple who refers three more? That’s the beginning of your returns.
But this is about more than filling your calendar and bank account.
It’s about walking into sessions with a sense of direction. Feeling proud of how you show up. Hearing clients say, “This finally feels different.”
If you’ve ever been curious about our year-long Developmental Model training, this course is the best way to experience it. You’ll get the same roadmap. The same structure. The same practice-based format with live coaching. Think of this as your entry point — a concentrated dose of what we believe every couples therapist deserves to know. All for under $200.
We believe in this course. But if you buy it and realize it’s not the right fit for your style, email us within 7 days and we’ll refund your money. No hard feelings, no hoops.
This is the roadmap you wish grad school gave you. This is what makes you the therapist other therapists refer to. This is how you become the leader your clients are hoping for.