This free series with Dr. Ellyn Bader
will be available until April 30

What DoYou
Say When...?

During this series, you’ll get scripts to use when clients…

5-Part Series
  • Lie to you and their partner
  • Keep wanting to rehash the fight of the week
  • Make outrageous demands
  • Suddenly quit therapy or their marriage
On April 24 my husband Dr. Pete Pearson and I went live for Beyond Blame, Fighting, and Enmeshment: Motivating Couples to “Do the Work.”

Webinar Replay Available

Beyond Blame, Fighting, and Enmeshment: Motivating Couples to “Do the Work.”

Join Us Live on April 24

We chose some of YOUR toughest situations, based on survey results, and will reveal principles you can adapt to lead clients beyond outrageous moments. And we will show you an example for creating accountability in a highly enmeshed couple.

Drs. Peter Pearson & Ellyn Bader

What Do You Say When… ?

1
Play Video

A Client Has Been Lying to You and Their Spouse for Months

[Tuesday, April 18]

Finding out that a client has been lying to you and their spouse about ongoing infidelity is very tricky. Suddenly what was already a difficult infidelity repair case gets a whole lot tougher.
For some therapists it is just more grist for the mill. For others, it forces us to think about our role as a therapist and whether we want to continue seeing that client.
Read More
2
Play Video

An Angry Client Wants to Rehash the Fight of the Week

[Wednesday, April 19]
This situation demonstrates the need for a crucial concept of developmental thinking: Strong leadership is essential.
Let’s look at what happens when a couple starts a session by dumping the fight of the week on you. They come in feeling raw unresolved pain.
Read More
3
Play Video

One Partner Makes Outrageous Demands

[Thursday, April 20]
I recently asked therapists I coach in the Developmental Model training program to share examples of hard moments in sessions, times where they feel stuck.
I was surprised at how many therapists replied with some version of “You will not believe what I heard!”
Read More
4
Play Video

A Client Is Ready to Leave Therapy and Her Marriage

[Friday, April 21]
Maybe you’ve had a session look something like this:

Your session begins with a wife giving you and her husband a very disappointed look. She turns towards you and begins, “For the third week in a row, my husband didn’t do what he committed to do in here with all three of us.”

Read More
5
Play Video

Beyond Blame, Fighting, and Enmeshment: Motivating Couples to "Do the Work"

[Monday, April 24]
In this live webinar, my husband, Dr. Peter Pearson and I teamed up to show you how to disrupt enmeshment and create change in ineffective self-protective behaviors.
Watch Replay

Here's what other therapists are saying about
the developmental model training program

Play Video
Not only was Nancy hooked from day one on the training and lessons, she also appreciates how Ellyn respects other models of couples therapy and how they can be woven into the Developmental Model.
Nancy St John
Couples Counsellor
Ireland
Other Models, Community,
Clinical Improvement
Play Video
Martha used to become confused in sessions because sexual issues are so complex and difficult for clients to discuss, but now she can hold the focus on one thing at a time and really make a difference for them.
Martha Kauppi, LMFT, ACST Madison, WI
Challenging Couples, Community, Clinical Improvement
Play Video
Sue was an individual therapist. But after she got the tools she needed and learned how to be an effective leader, she now specializes in working with couples – and really tough couples!
Sue Diamond, MA, RCC Vancouver, BC
Confidence, New to Couples, Individuals, Tools/Framework, Challenging Couples
Play Video
When Janae first started training, her work was primarily with individuals. Now she is able to work at a new level with individuals and see more couples, too. She’s learned a whole new language she can use with all of her clients.
Janae Munday, LCSW Phoenix, AZ
Individuals, Tools/Framework, Clinical Improvement
Play Video
Glen is an experienced therapist and the President of Well Marriage Center in Fairfax. When Glen learned about the Developmental Model he signed up for the training program and soon realized that he wanted all of his associates to take the training. As a result Glen has noticed improvements for clients, and also richer exchanges in staff meetings.
Glen Denlinger, LCSW, BCD President & Clinical Director of Well Marriage Center. Fairfax, VA
New Therapists, Experienced Therapists, Training, Associates, Confidence
Play Video
Before the Developmental Model training, Nicole used to get stuck with hostile-angry and passive couples, often wondering, “What the hell just happened?”Now she feels clarity. With the framework that’s been provided, she knows what is happening and what to do.
Nicole Van Ness, PsyD, LMFT-S Grapevine, TX
Hostile-Angry, Passivity, Clinical Improvement
Learn More About the Developmental Model Training Program

Even after 40 years in practice, Madge feels this training enabled her to feel more confident with couples, eventually charging more and having a waiting list.

“This training was well worth the time, energy, and expense. Every lesson opened up my clinical insights and skills. I have been in practice nearly 40 years and still devoured the materials like a young and eager college student. Frankly, I consider Ellyn to be a genius and at the top of her game. Her lessons are precise and masterful and spot on. Her mastery of the craft is breathtaking. She is wise and exact and her talent cannot be underestimated. EVERYONE should jump to study under her. She is one in a million.

The handouts are very useful and my couples were appreciative for them because they afforded a concrete accountability that they could lean on between sessions. Thank you everyone for your cases, your openness and camaraderie. Couples work can be a bitch, frankly, but since having this training I am equipped and of value. I have a waitlist out the door and I earn more doing couples than I do individual. This training has paid for itself in spades.”

MADGE FLYNN, LCSW, PhD - Fayetteville, NY
Full Practice/Waiting List, Clinical Improvement, Community, Investment

Kira feels like she's much more able to help her individual clients in a relationship with the effective interventions she's learned from Ellyn and the training program.

“I am currently only seeing individuals. This course has elevated my practice in ways I had not anticipated.

I have used many of the interventions which came up in lessons and calls in individual sessions, and I feel so much more able to help clients with their relationships. Listening to you, Ellyn, role play and demonstrate techniques was probably the most helpful part of the course. You reminded me every week to slow down, rewind, go back. You've also shown me how to effectively step back and look at the big picture of what is going on with my clients and address the patterns and processes rather than the situations.

This program has given me a whole new perspective on relationships and communication, and it is invaluable!”

KIRA LYNNE, BA, RPC, CCPCPR - Vancouver, BC Canada
Individuals, Clinical Improvement

Nicole appreciates the masterful skill that Ellyn brings to the cases presented by therapists. Ellyn does the consults in such a supportive way, asking really great questions and making it so easy to learn from her.

“The thing I like about watching Ellyn work with case consults is her masterful skill set to support the therapist presenting in a way that makes the audience want to take that huge risk and present themselves! Ellyn is so supportive for the presenting therapist, seeing strengths, validating a challenging case. I remember one time watching a case and thinking to myself, ‘oh wow would I ever be stuck here,’ and then Ellyn said, ‘this case would be challenging to the most seasoned therapist.’ Ellyn also asks really great questions, she is crystal clear about what she is doing and anchors it well to the Developmental Model, so easy to learn from. But most of all, it’s in her being that keeps me coming back: she is friendly, warm, approachable and conveys a caring for anyone she is engaged with. Thank you, Ellyn.”

NICOLE MAIER, RN, MA, RCC, CCC - West Vancouver, BC, Canada
Clinical Improvement, Case Consultations

Considering the depth of clinical training, tools, and consultations on the clinical calls with Ellyn, Nathan says it's been one of the best investments of his personal development and professional career.

“Ellyn's training is simply fantastic! From the beginning, I felt her sincere investment in my growth and development as a couple therapist. I was continuously gratified and impressed by the depth of understanding about couple relationships as well as the sophisticated training in practical tools that created more genuine and lasting change in my clients. This training provided me a wonderful community of other caring and brave therapists. Ellyn herself is the best couple therapy trainer in the profession. Her consultations and demonstrations are remarkable. She is also humble and invites other experts to the table to share their additional knowledge and skills, which she beautifully weaves into her training. This has been one of the best investments of my personal development and professional career!”

NATHAN HARDY, PhD, LMFT - Stillwater, OK
Clinical Improvement, Investment, Community

Shobha felt 400% more confident in her couples work within the first week, thanks to the first training call, lessons, and handouts provided.

“It's been less than a week, and with the first training call, the lessons, these handouts, and having the ability to watch the intro session video literally made a 400% difference in the quality and confidence I was able to bring to couples work this week! I was able to feel supported enough to relax and meet more in a session. Thank you for the support, your expertise and creating all of this!!!!! I am on cloud nine!!”

SHOBHA RANGANATH, Holistic IFS Couples Coach, Empowered Wellbeing IFS Coaching - Berkeley, CA
Confidence, Clinical Improvement
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Tammy joined training as a relatively new therapist and it has made a big difference in her personal life as well as her professional life. She values the community, has increased her confidence in working with couples, and is now having to decide what to do with more clients than she can see.
Tammy Van Hinte, MA, RCC Victoria BC
Community, Personal, New Therapist, Full Practice
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Tom says the Developmental Model translates well for working with queer couples because it’s really about how to be an individual inside a relationship, whatever the relationship structure looks like. And he especially appreciates the supportive community.
Tom Bruett, MS, LMFT Denver, CO
Diversity, Community, Clinical Improvement
Play Video
Lori is a seasoned therapist who has been using the Developmental Model for several years. With a successful practice and a long waiting list, Lori felt bad turning away so many couples who called in crisis.It was in the Couples Institute mentoring program that she became inspired to think about how she could specialize in couples intensives, and now that’s a major part of her practice.
Lori Weisman, MA, LMHC Bellevue, WA
Couples Intensives, Tools/Framework, Challenging Couples
Play Video
Jeremiah had an EFT background in working with couples, and now he’s moving out of that. The Developmental Model training has made a big difference in how he works with couples, even though he’s been in the training for a year. He’s seeing big changes that he’s able to make using the Developmental Model. Some of his clients have expressed appreciation for his work, and getting that feedback has been thrilling.
Jeremiah Gibson, LMFT, CST Quincy, MA
EFT Model, Other Models, Clinical Improvement
Play Video
Nancy and Lori recount many ways they’ve grown personally and how their relationships have improved since being part of the training. Lori says, “It’s a model that helps us do our own personal work.” Nancy agrees, “It’s profoundly life-changing and enhancing on a relationship level.” And she adds, “It’s the most positive environment you can be in.”
Nancy St. John, MIACP, Couples Counsellor, Ireland
Personal Growth, Community, Clinical Improvement
Play Video
Alexa was very grateful she took the training and learned the material when she did, but it wasn’t until she started working with it that something shifted inside and she really saw what differentiation was, how it functioned, and how it strengthened relationships. She’s had especially complex cases during the pandemic, and she couldn’t have done the work as well without the training. “I am forever grateful for what you and Pete put into this.”
Alexa Elkington, MFT Las Vegas, NV
Remote Work, Complicated Cases, Clinical Improvement

“After my Master’s program, I felt very unprepared to counsel couples! I kind of felt like I was thrown to the wolves. This training has been a complete game changer in my ability to do couples therapy; as a therapist overall; and in my own marriage as well.

Before this training, I struggled so much with couples therapy, that I asked my supervisor if the couples could be given to someone else in our clinic. Now I want to specialize in couples therapy, and I ask that couples be given to me. I’ve seen how having this proper training has helped me make a difference in the lives of my couples and how I am actually able to help them and see improvement.”

Christine Moore, MFT, Lawton, OK
New Therapist, New to Couples, Clinical Improvement

“Thank you for creating the handout materials! They have provided material for clients that is coherent, robust and enabled their learning. The course has given me a structure and support in developing my practice and working in an engaging way. The material has challenged me to work at addressing my own comfort to become a stronger leader when working with couples. The Developmental Model has significantly changed the way I work and I feel incredibly lucky to have experienced this wonderful training.”

Claudine Hull, Registered Integrative Counsellor, BACP, East Sussex, UK
Leadership, Tools/Framework, Clinical Improvement

“Doing the level 1 training changed my practice. My confidence rose and the connection to the Developmental Model community meant I was never alone when I was struggling. Finding the courage to present a case to Ellyn was made easier by Ellyn’s kind and caring support. She helped me see what I was doing well, what areas I could shift in specific ways so I understood new directions I could take, and it left me inspired and wanting to present more cases. This program expanded my skills as a therapist and as a human being in this world.“

Tammy Van Hinte, MA, RCC, Victoria BC
Clinical Improvement, Confidence, Community

“I discovered this therapy training program by ‘accident’ and it became the most expensive ‘impulse’ buy I have made. Continuing to learn and grow professionally is priceless, and as a built-in bonus being a part of a community of “like-minds” is invaluable. What resonated most for me is the validity of a development model for an intimate, long-term relationship and how it is a tool to help navigate the stormy waters of the process of healing, growth, and for some, transformation! Having worked with gay male couples over the years, I became aware of how my ‘community’ suffered what I theorized early on as an arrested development particularly for men over 40. Integrating the Developmental Model will help in bringing awareness and insight for me and my couples as I work collaboratively with them!”

Bryce Thompson, LMFT, Long Beach CA
Clinical Improvement, Community, Diversity

“This course has kind of blown me away! It is so rich and generous and has definitely improved my thinking and practice with both individuals and couples. It has also helped me in my own marriage. The differentiation piece has been invaluable in my work with parents with teens and in my own parenting of my teenager. I have wanted to attend this training for years and am so glad it is online.”

Vickie Vann, LCSW, San Francisco, CA
Individuals and Families, Personal, Clinical Improvement
Learn More About the Developmental Model Training Program

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