I assumed clients were coming to me because they wanted something in their life to change.
“My relationship makes me miserable, can you fix it?”
“How can I be more assertive and organized at work?”
“I’m not sure why I keep choosing the same unavailable partners. Can you help me pick better?”
When I heard these woes, I’d sit up a little straighter and think to myself, “Why yes, I have tons of excellent advice for this situation!” And I’d take a deep breath knowing I could demonstrate my value and earn my paycheck, because the things I knew could help my clients change.
Fast forward a couple years of dropping advice and suggestions on my clients and seeing that ::gulp:: things weren’t all that different.
My clients weren’t choosing better relationships.
They were stuck in the same dynamics with their partners.
And they were repeating bad communication habits.
Frankly, it was exhausting using all my best listening skills, best pieces of advice, and best inspiring quotes to get clients to change – and seeing it All. Fall. Flat.
I had to stop and survey the landscape before me because I knew something needed to change before I burned out – or got depressed.
So I took a step back and reevaluated all of my original assumptions about therapy.
Starting with the first one I’d made: that clients came to me to change.
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When I threw that assumption out, everything started improving.
I realized that what clients were really there for was RELIEF.
No wonder my inspiring “football coach in the last minute of a tied game” speeches weren’t doing anything.
I assumed that with the right insight, off they’d go, happy that I said the right thing at the right time to change everything.
But it couldn’t be further from the truth.
I was investing too much effort into leading them where they were afraid to go.
I was failing to address one MASSIVE thing: the inner conflict that kept my clients stuck.
Sure, there was a part of them that wanted to quit fighting with their partner, or become more assertive.
But there was another part of them that held onto the status quo. “Better the devil you know than the one you don’t,” right?
And for as long as the inner civil war between two desires exists, you can kiss relief goodbye. And you can certainly kiss change goodbye.
I realized that every month of stalled therapy… every failed attempt at change… every client’s unwillingness to follow through on homework… every vague commitment to a goal all boiled down to an unaddressed internal conflict.
So I rethought the way I work.
I removed myself as the catalyst for confronting deep fear-based beliefs.
I relinquished the role of “Wizard” believing I had to identify the precise place they were stuck.
I let go of feeling the relentless pressure to say the right thing, at the right time, in the right way.
And I started refining and crafting my own approach to 2-Chair work.I started helping clients identify their internal conflicts and dilemmas. I got them involved in the dance between the self-protective brain and the dreamer brain. I guided them towards collaboration between those two competing voices.
Clients learned to face their fears without removing the fears.
They developed a deep appreciation for the unique qualities and gifts of the two characters on the inner loudspeaker.
We used artful persuasion to unify the divided and competing selves.
And those voices learned to live together in one great cycle of mutual respect and harmony.
This approach transformed the traditional battleground of inner turmoil into a fertile ground for healing and growth.
After 34,000 hours of couple and individual therapy, I have honed almost every nuance that goes into effective 2-chair and put it together in…
I’ve done this because NO ONE should have to slog through 34,000 hours of therapy to find these answers.
And because there are few things more rewarding than taking clients to the exact point of resistance and allowing them to identify their own “divided self.”
When you guide clients to identify the self-protective place, suddenly there’s a crystal-clear roadmap for your work.
A roadmap that stops you from solving the wrong problem. That prevents weeks of clients going through the motions. That shuts down the excuses.
And the part that lights me up: seeing clients get ignited about their dreams.
Because simply put: if the self-protector doesn’t support the dream or the desire, your clients will see zero progress.
Transform your everyday state of mind into an every-instant state of mindfulness, adjusting the bubble of awareness for the benefit of all.
Unfortunately, “the self protective place” is a piece of education that’s missing in many corners of our profession.
It’s what makes this deep-dive into 2-Chair work different.
This series isn’t just the brass tacks of teaching you to have clients “sit here, sit there, say this, answer that.”
This goes way deeper.
You’ll learn the exact process I use to get clients to partner with their alter egos. To open the doors to a new way of collaborating instead of fighting and competing.
You’ll practice artful persuasion to connect the divided and competing selves, truly creating a new path of inner harmony.
You’ll understand what to look for in what your clients say so you can spot language “red flags” that tell you there’s more to their dilemma than they’re letting on.
All of this is possible no matter your theoretical background or experience with couples or individuals. The only thing you need to succeed is this:
A flexible time limit for when the aspiration will be achieved.
A focus that breaks down the tasks into small achievable components.
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Practice these simple steps and you’ll ignite the human power of hope and aspiration. When fear becomes support, and respect becomes trust, your clients will realize the total promise of what their brain and heart can offer.
You’ll learn how to gently guide the dialogue of the inner civil war so that change comes
After exploring just about every approach there is to working with the human mind and motivation, I have found one thing: working from the inside out makes your work a lot easier, and it’s a lot more rewarding for the client.
You’ll facilitate this change from the inside out if you can…
Stop defining the self-protective brain as the enemy
Strengthen the conflicting relationship between the lizard brain and the dreamer brain
Generate patience for the two competing voices
Apply the psychology of learning to unify the lizard brain and the dreamer brain
And by the time we’re through, that’s exactly what you can do confidently.
I have intentionally designed this series to give you plenty of time in-session, and support between sessions, to experiment, practice, ask questions, be mentored, role-play as the therapist, and role-play as the client.
You can…
“Imagine the benefits and rewards of working as a team. That is what you will discover and experience through our work. By applying my unique and innovative techniques, you strengthen your connections and feel supported. You will draw upon my thirty years of helping couples through their struggles and re-visioning new aspects of their relationship.”
– Dr. Peter Pearson
Dr. Peter Pearson is a thought leader and relationship expert for entrepreneurs who want to make business and love work in harmony. Having spent decades as a couples therapist, informal researcher, and experimenter, Pete is uniquely skilled at navigating the complexities and challenges entrepreneurs face in their lives and relationships – as he has also worked alongside his wife, Dr. Ellyn Bader, for 36 years.
“This was an absolutely great course and I really loved the depth of not only learning about 2-chair, but also about more of Pete’s inner thoughts about the way that he interacts with couples. It always helps to hear him talk about working through his own struggles. It makes it makes it easier for me to hold the vision that I know this is hard for all of us sometimes, but we can do it.”
– Lauren Ostrowski, MA, LPC
“I learned a tremendous amount. I particularly liked all the demonstrations of how you talk to couples and approach them with tough problems. The emphasis on making sure we learned the process was invaluable.
I loved your stories, examples and passion. It was a really fun experience. I am inspired to experiment and learn.”
-James Binder, Cincinnati, Ohio
“I watched the replay and am so excited for upcoming trainings and nervous yet excited to experiment with 2-chair work in upcoming sessions. I see it as so invaluable to moving clients forward!”
– Karen Dieter, LCSW, Susanville, California
“I did 2-chair with 3 of my clients this week. Very helpful. Each client gained more clarity and insight into each part and each set up an experiment for the week. Very good to just jump in and try it and let go of the fear and anxiety to try new things!”
– Sandra Antonelli, LMFT, Chino Hills, California
“During the past couple of months while walking my dog in the morning I’ve been binge listening to Pete. His calls are amazing. I’m celebrating the integration of theory into practice.”
– Trudy Jacobsen, MSW, Australia
“I love Pete’s ability to work with the ‘parts’ to lead the clients away from their complaints about the other and into themselves. His ability to teach /coach/encourage while keeping the focus on self change and/or strengthening relationship is inspiring.”
– Sally Shamai, RCC, M.Ed, Vancouver, Canada
“I love the part where Pete talks about the price to pay when we move towards growth and the price we pay if we stay stuck. It is such a wonderful reminder that the client that is stuck is paying a price to stay stuck but it is a price that they know and are familiar with. The growth or change requires them to take a risk and pay a price that is less familiar and the pay-off has no guarantee (in their mind).”
– Lindsay Rayball, LMFT, Scottsdale, Arizona
“I love Pete’s ability to work with the ‘parts’ to lead the clients away from their complaints about the other and into themselves. His ability to teach /coach/encourage while keeping the focus on self change and/or strengthening relationship is inspiring.”
– Sally Shamai, M.Ed, Canada
Full Pay $699 – $599
2-Pay Option $350 – $300
Discount expires on April 17 at 11:59pm Pacific.