Dr. Ellyn Bader

Let’s look at what creates enduring change in angry couples.

Let’s look at what creates enduring change in angry couples. The answer comes from understanding differentiation.

If you want to do more than fly by the seat of your pants and referee the fight of the week, getting differentiation-based interventions in your bones is crucial.

This will enable you to create meaningful change without dragging things out.  

In order to do that, you’ll want to understand:

  1. Developmental stagnation (signs a couple isn’t differentiated)
  2. What differentiation is
  3. What differentiation isn’t
  4. Why it matters
  5. How it evolves

What differentiated partners do

What is Differentiation?

Self-differentiation is the active and ongoing process by which a person defines himself or herself, their own thoughts, feelings, wishes and desires.

This requires tolerating anxiety and being able to hold two realities: “mine” and “yours.” This allows each partner to become better known to the other.

Lies and deception

 

Act Now

Comment below: Do you emphasize differentiation-based interventions in your work with couples?

  • Clinical Training Calls

    Every month we have a group conference call on your phone or computer to answer questions about the new interventions and strategies that you’re applying in your practice. These calls focus on real clinical cases and enhance your perspective about the challenging situations you’re encountering with your couples. Also, since every call is recorded, you can listen to over 90 archived calls as Ellyn applies theory to tough cases including, “Transgender Disclosure,” “Couples and Addiction,” “Working with an Avoidant Partner,” “Issues with Hostile/Fighting Couples.”
  • Clinical Training Calls

    Every month we have a group conference call on your phone or computer to answer questions about the new interventions and strategies that you’re applying in your practice. These calls focus on real clinical cases and enhance your perspective about the challenging situations you’re encountering with your couples. Also, since every call is recorded, you can listen to over 90 archived calls as Ellyn applies theory to tough cases including, “Transgender Disclosure,” “Couples and Addiction,” “Working with an Avoidant Partner,” “Issues with Hostile/Fighting Couples.”