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(Audio MP3 & Transcript)

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Self-Reflection in Chronically Angry Couples
(Audio MP3 & Transcript)

Self-Reflection in Chronically Angry Couples
(Audio MP3 & Transcript)


In this one hour session, you will learn more about the intricacies of working with angry couples.


Ellyn illuminates four symbiotic patterns used by these couples which make it difficult to determine “what problem belongs to which partner.” Pete then describes a new process for rapidly separating these enmeshed dynamics and identifying core systemic and intrapsychic issues with hostile couples.

With this technique, in just one session you’ll be able to:

  • Stop the finger pointing.
  • Identify each person's individual contribution to the negative cycles.
  • Develop more acceptance of responsibility for change in each partner.
  • Increase motivation for change in angry partners.
  • Identify some core intrapsychic blocks.
  • Clarify the systemic patterns of the couple's negative interactions.

This process can be done with minimal effort on your part and in one session. You can use it with current or new couples.

The outcome is that the blaming and withdrawing decreases and you develop a strong collaborative working alliance with your couples. They feel more secure within the structure and comforted by the belief that you understand them and can help them climb out of the pain they have created. And finally, you will be able to work more quickly with the individual vulnerabilities that drive their disruptive, distancing behavior.


“I used the technique with one of my couples today, and they were so thankful and motivated. They saw a possibility where none existed before. It was amazing and very gratifying for all of us. At the close of the session, they couldn't stop saying how helpful it was despite the earlier rough patches during the session. I certainly feel motivated and inspired to do more seminars with Pete and Ellyn!”

Barbara Adamich, LCSW, San Rafael, CA

“I did try it the next day with that couple and it worked fabulously!! This couple, in our first session, was unable to resist any opportunity whatsoever to start bickering with one another. But with this approach I was able to establish a sense of order and structure to our work and they both stated they felt optimistic and hopeful at the end of the session. Thank you so much!”

Elayne Chou, Ph.D., Berkeley, CA

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