Frequently one partner will be enthusiastic about attending my two-day workshop. They’re hoping for relief from their current relationship problems or maybe they want to rediscover the closeness they once shared with their spouse. But their partner isn't interested in attending.

What to do? Here are a few guidelines for talking with your partner if that is your situation.

The most important point is to describe how you will change and how they will benefit. This seems to be the biggest key, even though I can assure you that in all my years of conducting couples workshops, once both partners are there, even the reluctant partner will see the opportunity and open up to take advantage of it.

Focus on how you will improve the way you interact with your partner. You will not be pressuring them to improve the way they interact with you. You will be changing your attitudes and actions while learning new skills.

It could go something like this:

“Honey, there is a two-day workshop for couples that could dramatically improve our relationship.

It would teach me some new attitudes and skills that make it easier for you live with me. With new skills and communications tools, I wouldn’t talk to you in ways that are problematic and I would become a better problem solver.

I would learn how to become a better team player, which would improve our connection and the quality of our whole relationship.

Nobody is forced to say anything about their relationship in front of the other participants. We can do our work in private. Everything can be confidential.

The workshop is led by a world-renown instructor. He is so confident, he offers a very unusual guarantee:  if we think the workshop doesn’t teach innovative and valuable relationship skills, we can get a total refund of the workshop fee. For ANY reason! So we can attend as much or as little as we want and then decide whether it’s worth the money!  

It would mean a lot to me if you were there, even if the focus was on my becoming a better partner. “

Keep the focus on yourself. That makes the workshop more attractive to your partner. It beats anything else you can say about the workshop.  But it does not diminish the relief you will feel or the reconnection you and your partner will discover.

Your partner is welcome to call my direct line with any questions: 650-324-0150 x3. You, too, of course!

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