Learn New Sophisticated Strategies for Working With Difficult Couples With Felony Lies and Deception.

(Even if you’re already an experienced and skilled couples therapist.)

Thank you for signing up for my email series on working with lies and deception in your couples practice. You should receive your first email in your inbox within the next 15 minutes.

In the meantime, as promised, I want to share with you a favorite resource that you can use when you are dealing with felony lies in the aftermath of infidelity.

It's a Felony Lies transcript called:

Couple in the Aftermath of Infidelity:

Felony Lies, Conflict Avoidance, and Lie Inviting Dynamics

Likely you have already experienced working with couples both prior to and in the aftermath of infidelity. So you know how challenging this can be. There’s so much at stake.

I hope you get some valuable insights from this transcript comprised of excerpts and a summary from a two-hour session. I share the interaction with the couple and also a dialogue with some participants in my ongoing training group.

Learning to work with felony lies with the most challenging couples takes great skills as a therapist.

I look forward to sharing more with you in the coming days.

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This Felony lies transcript is from a session with a couple in the aftermath of infidelity. They show conflict avoidance and lie inviting dynamics.

This was their first session with me and I knew nothing about them or their history.

When working with couples before or in the aftermath of infidelity, you may feel:

  • frustrated when the deceiver denies and the deceived wants to minimize or overlook the deception.
  • unsure how to help the deceived with what often feels like PTSD or near PTSD.
  • less skilled trying to figure out if the deceiver is either sociopathic or there is compulsive/addictive behavior.
  • when trying to rebuild trust the ongoing rage really saps your energy.

So, with all of these possible situations and difficult couples, it can sometimes be hard to feel secure in your choices of interventions, regardless of how experienced you are.


Whether you’re trying to get the couple back on track during the middle stages after a felony lie or deception, or you think you’ve made substantial progress and a new deception gets discovered, this work is really challenging.


I can help you work with couples efficiently and effectively using strategies that I’ve developed with my husband, Peter Pearson, for over 30 years now.

Based on where you are right now, what you want to do is find a solution that specifically addresses your unique situation..

Ideally you want a resource that walks you through many of the steps you need to take next.

  • In the aftermath of deception and denial, knowing how hard to confront each partner – and how soon to start the challenge.
  • Key behaviors that a betrayer can do to build trust in their relationship aside from being “transparent”.
  • Finding the most effective way to confront an obvious or suspected lie while maintaining the therapeutic alliance.
  • The best techniques to get couples back on track after there has been significant deception.

Hi, I'm Dr. Ellyn Bader.

I am the co-founder and co-director of The Couples Institute and co-creator of The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy, with my husband, Dr. Peter Pearson.

When we created the Developmental Model over 30 years ago, it helped launched the specialty of couples therapy. It has not only withstood the test of time, but all of the strategies and interventions are built upon the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy, which I created with my husband.

But it wasn’t always easy. Even after I had some experience – like you – I often felt unsure and got frustrated or worn out. But my passion for helping therapists and their couples drove me to find successful ways to work with all kinds of couples.

I want to give you the tools and strategies I’ve learned so that it won’t take you years to discover them.

After helping thousands of experienced therapists like you, I know I can help you, too.

Your free Felony Lies Transcript download will give you many new ideas for interventions with your couples.

However, if you want a more in depth understanding of how to create and sustain change with even the most difficult couples, I’d like to recommend High Impact Couples Therapy.

This training resource includes 5 one-hour CDs and a workbook with exercises you can duplicate for your clients. All of the strategies and interventions are build upon the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy, which I created with my husband, Dr. Peter Pearson, over 30 years ago.

The Developmental Model continues to grow more powerful and versatile with our constant innovations. It is a framework that will give you clarity and direction for your work with couples.

In High Impact Couples Therapy, Pete and I illustrate how to create a context for change that includes: illuminating the partners’ vision, changing the process for discussing highly charged issues, managing emotional reactivity, and resolving intrapsychic conflicts.

The result is a structure for your interventions, and your clients change faster, with less conflict and greater positive momentum. You’ll discover specific ways to get both partners aligned in the same collaborative outcome. As the leader, you will guide the therapeutic process to a more positive termination.

By the time you complete working through this resource, you will:

  • Learn how to start therapy before the couple arrives for the first interview.
  • Recognize and implement five essential elements in the first interview.
  • Incorporate vision setting as a mechanism to shift couples away from destructive/blaming cycles and into positive outcomes.
  • Learn to use therapist self definition as a leverage for change.
  • Develop new skills for managing extremely volatile partners.
  • Utilize Gestalt methods for quicker resolution of intrapsychic conflicts.
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High Impact Couples Therapy

If you would like to see more couples in your practice - and you would like to be better equipped to handle even the most difficult couples - this is the resource you need.

Get High Impact Couples Therapy

And enter discount code “HIGHIMPACT-40C” at checkout to receive a special $40 OFF your purchase – it’s over a 20% discount!

Regular Price: $187 (with Discount $147 while supplies last)

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“I feel a sense of empowerment that I’ve never felt before, and that means everything when doing the difficult work of couples therapy.”

“Ellyn has helped me to become a competent couples therapist. Working with couples can be anxiety provoking. You never know what you are going to be confronted with and how someone is going to react to what their partner might say or do.

I now feel confident and grounded in knowing that I have many options on how to manage hostile-angry and conflict-avoidant couples. I feel a sense of empowerment that I’ve never felt before, and that means everything when doing the difficult work of couples therapy.”

Elany Mueller, LMFT Pasadena, California

Ellyn Bader, Ph.D., and Peter Pearson, Ph.D. have been featured in: