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Dare To Be Great – with Dr. Peter Pearson, Ph.D.

Dare To Be Great – with Dr. Peter Pearson, Ph.D.

The 6 weekly calls will all be from 1-2:30pm Pacific Time on the following Thursdays:

  • July 16
  • July 23
  • July 30
  • August 6
  • August 13
  • August 20

There will be replays available if you aren’t able to join live or would like to watch again.

1. July 16, 2020 Replay

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2. July 23, 2020 Replay

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3. July 30, 2020 Replay Dare to be great video

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4. August 06, 2020 Replay Dare to be great video

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5. August 13, 2020 Replay Dare to be great video

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6. August 20, 2020 Replay Dare to be great video

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7. August 27, 2020 Replay Dare to be great video

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Here’s how to join:https://us02web.zoom.us/j/81622278705

Meeting ID: 816 2227 8705

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Please use the comments below to ask questions for the next session and to interact with each other in between our live sessions.

11 responses to "Dare To Be Great – with Dr. Peter Pearson, Ph.D."

  1. I love what Paul and Pete were talking about related to not remembering exact specifics of interventions. Thank you, Pete, for nailing it with regard to not going through the prefrontal cortex. So often, couples or individual partners will really like my phrasing and will want to write it down. If they know that right away, I can repeat it, but if they ask me at the end of the session to go back to the exact phrasing I used earlier, I can give it a ballpark, but I have started to say something like “I won't be able to give you the exact phrasing again later because I'm coming up with it based on what you are saying here, so if you want the exact wording, go ahead and write it down now.” I love it when they want exact phrasing of something I said a week ago. I can come up with something along the same line, but it's not going to be the same.

  2. I was thinking about Barb's reaction yesterday
    about the term “improvement”
    So I reflected on it and thought I will modify the
    term to say something like

    “Would it be fair to say you are here to improve X or get better at Y?”

    Getting better also has a ring of less pressure than saying “change”

    This sets up the clarification of the dilemma for 2 chair work.
    Improving or getting better at something is their aspiration.
    Then explore why it would be difficult or a challenge to improve or get better at xxx.
    This is the two chair approach.
    but only strive for an experiment at getting better or improving for a small period of time to discover what we can all learn.

    This approach is based on principles vs learning formulas which is what I reflected on yesterday when Nina was describing her dilemma.
    A part of Nina was struggling to get the sequence of steps “right” which then can lead to cognitive overload.
    but if you approach 2 chair based on principles -you might get something like
    “there is a battle between aspiration and self-protection/fears of all kinds.
    Each part brings something valuable to the table. Have them appreciate both sides.
    ask the self-protection part to support the aspiration for a small time frame
    Now the next sentence is KEY
    tell the self-protective part ” You can always go back to the old ways of doing things.”

    This helps them avoid the feeling of getting trapped in a bad experiment.

    Most confrontations are easier when you discuss the lack of commitment of the self/protection on the experiment. And compassionately drill down on the difficulty to support the aspiration side.

    We can discuss this more on this Thursday
    and if someone reminds me I will walk you through the full Monte Jedi Mind Shift again even though you are getting good results with the modified version as reported by Paul etc.
    Also let's do another demo of one of you describing a dilemma of moving more rapidly/confidently in your clinical work and another being the therapist like Sue was last time.
    Till then

  3. Top Dog book – it is full of insights abut competition under stress – or most important, how we all respond under stress – whether it is in a sport, doing therapy, doing a demo in our group on Thursdays.
    it is how our clients perform under stress/arguments work etc.
    all in all a darn good book

  4. Hi sue
    Thanks for creating this write-up…I just got around to reading it and it was a helpful reminder

    Here’s a request to Pete and all of you….can anybody give me a review of the jedi mind trick…I obviously didn’t get it down and its muddled in my mind.

    And a question to Pete – what were we supposed to read in Top Dog book?

    Thanks all, see you tomorrow, Maureen

  5. First – Karen – how ya doin'?

    Second this Thursday the 30th I will give you an insight about confrontation. Why it is so difficult so often and why MOST OF THE TIME YOU ARE CONFRONTING THE WRONG THING.
    When you confront the wrong problem it almost always is more difficult.
    Thursday you will learn what the correct/real problem is which will make your confrontations simple and easier.
    See you then

    • Thank you, Pete! This is so helpful, really. I kept in the back of my mind yesterday “leading vs. telling.” When stressed I tend to revert to “telling” because I feel an urgency in that stress to “get somewhere – come on, they are paying good money for this session, time to perform!” I see these tips: find the dilemma, lead vs. tell, confront the right problem etc. as different colors and brush strokes in the art of therapy. See you Thursday…and Karen, hope the stress levels are dropping, you and your community are safe and the fire is more contained.

  6. Karen – how you doing now?
    Fire is such a scary event.

    A note from our last meeting. Leading vs telling.
    When Barb role played her client and I said “If i could show you a way that you could use what you already know in your business that creates success and apply it to your marriage, would you be interested? You don't have to learn new things just apply what you already do.”

    Now I am leading vs following or just reacting to his ongoing resistance.

    Developing leading responses takes experimenting – lot's of experimenting to refine what you say and how you say it.

    Just the phrase, “If I could show you a way.” is a good phrase but it took a lot of experimenting to develop it.

    See you Tuesday

  7. I just wanted to send a BIG THANK YOU to my fellow group members for the love and support you gave me yesterday. Shortly after our webinar, the fire burned thru the power transmission lines and power was out for 20 hours. So glad it happened after our meeting! Fire is being slowly contained in our area, although other parts of our county are burning out of control. I will keep you all posted. Much Gratitude!!

    • Appreciate the update and glad that you were able to stay on the call yesterday too. Good to hear the fire is slowly getting contained, that's encouraging. Hoping you get some times of reprieve to unplug for the fire stress and threat – even if it's to just do the dishes (sometimes it's those simple things that keep us grounded). Take care and be safe!

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