Holidays/Special Occasions

How to Get the Most From Your Couples Therapy

Couples are often uncertain what to expect from the process of couples therapy. They are not sure of what to expect of the therapist or even if the therapist has any expectations of them. I have found most couples approach therapy with the notion that each person will describe their distress and somehow the therapist will assist them to create a happier, more functional, relationship. They expect to learn some new or better skills. However, most people hope their partner will do most of the learning in problem areas. After 30 years of clinical experience and specializing in working with thousands of couples, I have arrived at some guidelines that can make our work more effective. First, I do have some expectations of you. I am not neutral. I have evolved principles and concepts that I believe give us the greatest chance for success.

Are you going to have this kind of Valentine’s Day?

Feb14-225Picture this. It might fit for lot of guys. Valentine's Day approaches. A week before this special, romantic day, Joe starts calling around for dinner reservations. He believes he is pretty smart thinking ahead like this.… Read more...

Most New Year’s Resolutions Fail – Here’s Why

For some reason the calendar seems to dictate the desire to become a better person. You may feel a surge of excitement at the prospect of overcoming a bad habit or attitude. What is it about New Year's resolutions? Despite good intentions, your efforts soon evaporate like snow flakes in July. Here’s why you don’t follow through.… Read more...

Gifts that Give!

With the holiday season around the corner, the necessity of gift-giving is on most of our minds. Many of us feel pressured to provide and ‘prove’ our love for others in a strictly material way.  But, gift-giving is much more than just spending.  If done thoughtfully, it can provide a wonderful emotional, social & spiritual effect on you and your loved ones.… Read more...

How To Enjoy Your Family and In-Laws This Year

Are you already playing out scenarios in your head about what could go wrong this holiday season? Maybe you are tired of feeling uncomfortable around the in-laws, or dreading the arguments that tend to come up between you and your partner. With so many different personalities and conflicting desires coming together, it can be challenging to stay centered and feel enthusiastic about the holidays! …Which is why I have put together some tips for you. Who says this year can’t be different from the others?… Read more...

Prevent Holiday Travel Stress with These 3 Tips

  The holidays all sound good in theory – the gifts you’ll receive, the catching up you’ll do with family, a soft wintry morning snowfall depending on where you land. But sometimes the anticipation and goodness are quickly derailed as you’re even just traveling to get there, be it by a flight delay, a screaming kid, or just a conversation gone wrong.  (Photo credit: Huff Post Travel & Leisure Online Community Members) Remember these three words: Attitude, Latitude, and Gratitude.  … Read more...

Actions of True Intimacy: a Different Gift for Valentine’s Day

Are you willing to go beyond flowers, dinner and chocolate for Valentine's day? Here's a different gift. The gift of intimacy. It will last longer than a box of chocolates and a bouquet of flowers. The poet Rilke once advised a friend that a good marriage does not create “a quick community of spirit by tearing down and destroying all boundaries,” but rather appoints the other “guardian of his solitude.” Rilke's comments, applicable to all committed partnerships, point to the mutual respect and clarity that form the basis for genuine intimacy. Here are 10 ways to deepen your intimacy.… Read more...

For a Surprising Valentine’s Gift Take This Quiz

Valentine's Day practically forces most couples to focus on their relationship. But in fact it's not a bad thing to remind.each other of your appreciation and affection for one another. So take a moment to offer flowers, candy, dinner, gift or card for your partner. Giving your time, energy, and thoughtfulness can be like watering a wilting flower in the desert. But there is one more gift you may not have thought about. The gift is initiating a discussion with your partner about your relationship with work. There are times in many peoples' lives when work is their passion and becomes a magnet for most of their life energy.… Read more...

Rapid Fire Tips for Holiday Division of Labor

How many decisions will you make with your honey over the holidays? Whether you guess fifty or five hundred, I guarantee that you will make even more. The holidays are full of choices: gifts, guests, travels, money, menus, and more. And many of these decisions are made begrudgingly, especially as the calendar fills up and every day becomes a challenge of “who needs to do what by when.” Some of these decisions and negotiations will generate more heat than a roaring forest fire. So here's a method to turn down the heat blasts and make your holidays a little more cozy. It's a new way to think about “who needs to do what by when.” This process helps you avoid the two most common negotiation mistakes.… Read more...

Guys Giving Gifts: The Darker Side of Valentine’s Day

February 15, 1980, is a day I will never forget. I was explaining to Ellyn, who was at that time my fiancée, why I ignored Valentine's Day. It was the standard response a lot of men give in that situation – it's an event created by Hallmark, my love and affection are demonstrated in other ways, etc. After Ellyn let me know how she felt, I decided that overlooking Valentine's Day was a mistake I didn't wish to repeat. However, that experience exposed a bigger problem for me. A problem that basically has plagued me for most of my adult life. How do I find the right gift to give at the right occasion? The problem is the thorniest with Ellyn.If I only needed to do it a couple of times each decade, I think I could handle it well and do it with joy.… Read more...
Menu