Ellyn Bader

Here are links to all 9 blog posts in my series on losing control, momentum or direction in couples therapy.

The first three blogs are on Losing Control:
Losing Control: When couples sessions spin out of control
Losing Control: It happens sooner than you think
Losing Control: When couples fight

The next three are on Losing Momentum:
Losing Momentum: Do you start strong and then see the energy fizzle?
Losing Momentum: With passive-aggressive partners and their spouses
Losing Momentum: When one partner keeps obsessing about the details of a partner’s affair

The last three are on Losing Direction:
Losing Direction: Where are you going and what are you using for a roadmap?
Losing Direction: When intimacy avoiders lead you astray
Losing Direction: With narcissistic or demanding partners


Ellyn Bader, Ph.D., is Co-Founder & Director of The Couples Institute and creator of The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy. Ellyn is widely recognized as an expert in couples therapy, and since 2006 she has led innovative online training programs for therapists. Professionals from around the world connect with her through internet, conference calls and blog discussions to study couples therapy.

Ellyn’s first book, "In Quest of the Mythical Mate," won the Clark Vincent Award by the California Association of Marriage & Family Therapists for its outstanding contribution to the field of marital therapy and is now in its 18th printing. She has been featured on over 50 radio and television programs including "The Today Show" and "CBS Early Morning News," and she has been quoted in many publications including "The New York Times," "The Oprah Magazine" and "Cosmopolitan."

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4 years ago

This is really helpful!

4 years ago

Wow……thank you so very much Dr. Bader, for sharing many years worth of clear and helpful knowledge. I just read previous blogs, amazingly info, concise language and direction. I am going to check out the course now.

Lesley Bowers
Lesley Bowers
4 years ago

Hi me again I have not signed up for training as yet because I have a problem that feels hard to overcome for me. I have of late requests for couples counselling by the male partner and when I see them it is very obvious that the male in the relationship is very abusive towards his partner which is DV this happened only last week and they have been together 20yrs . How do I work with this ?