Relief or Happiness – What Do You Choose?

I work with a lot of couples where one partner takes great pride in being a problem solver. I, too, am a big believer in solving problems.  Yet, after all my years of working with all kinds of couples, one principle gradually emerged: fixing or solving problems does not bring happiness. It brings relief but […]

The gift of a stronger connection and a stronger union

Create some quiet uninterrupted time and space to do this exercise with your partner. Imagine if your partner focused on bringing out the best in you. Each partner has different talents, skills, and knowledge than the other. Do you capitalize on each other’s strengths?  Great teams do that. Quarterbacks don’t play linebacker. Drummers don’t play the […]

Surprising marriage lesson from a palm tree climber – it’s not pruning

I am writing from Hawaii, Ellyn’s and my favorite place to reorganize, reprioritize, and regenerate. I was walking back to our unit and stopped to watch a gardener climb a very tall and quite thin palm tree to prune some dying branches at the top. He used spikes on his shoes and a rope around […]

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Learn from a pioneer and leader in couples therapy training as she shares exactly what to say in difficult therapy sessions.
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